(January 2, 2015 at 8:05 pm)pocaracas Wrote: I recommend waiting for feedback from the OP, instead of going on assuming that he's this or that kind of person.

Yeah, no. I'm going to go right ahead and assume that OP is destined to live and die alone and unloved, and he will be eaten by the 28 cats he keeps in lieu of human companionship.

Boru

(January 2, 2015 at 6:15 pm)Rhythm Wrote: LOL, puritans!

I can hit a strip club and manage not to cheat on my wife. It's not even difficult........it gets zero thought/effort. hrugs:

Um, yeah, but the thing is... the rest of us ain't ugly and poor.

(January 2, 2015 at 6:15 pm)Rhythm Wrote: LOL, puritans!

I can hit a strip club and manage not to cheat on my wife. It's not even difficult........it gets zero thought/effort. hrugs:

Or you could stay home and actually have sex with your wife. Why would you rather go to a strip club?

I'm going to do that regardless Alpha. It's not as though I have to choose.

LOL @ Tonus, I must be blessed?

(January 2, 2015 at 7:41 pm)Losty Wrote: •A man who doesn't want to cheat but enjoys sex more than he respects the fidelity of his marriage maybe should avoid Vegas, but will probably wind himself up in a situation presenting the opportunity to cheat at some point anyways.

We don't have any blue pills around here. If I'm not good to go, Lia just says to go talk dirty with Losty and then get right back in here.

(January 2, 2015 at 7:41 pm)Losty Wrote: •A man who has decided not that he doesn't want to cheat, but that he isn't going to cheat can go to Vegas or any other place he wants and not be any more likely to cheat than he was if he stayed at home.

Yeah, that's me. I'm almost completely dead inside now. I've become the kind of dog that not only doesn't pee on the carpet but will bite any other dog that tries.

(January 2, 2015 at 4:45 pm)alpha male Wrote: Go to a hotel bar, look for men with wedding rings on, and hit on them. If you're not horribly disfigured, someone will take the bait.

A lot of them would regret it the next day and think, "If I had just stayed out of that bar last night..."

You don't seem to understand male sexuality.

Calling that male sexuality is nonsense. Call it what it is: thoughtless, selfish sexuality on the part of men who have made a solemn promise. It is not limited to men, nor is it universal amongst men.

I've never cheated in an exclusive relationship, and I never will. And it doesn't matter what she looks like, what she's dressed in, or if anyone will ever find out.

Oh, and I'm male.

(January 2, 2015 at 8:23 pm)Losty Wrote: They obviously changed their mind lol

Yes, people who make their minds up can change them, which is why your position that a man who makes his mind up not to cheat will never cheat and need take no consideration regarding temptation is unrealistic.

Quote:Living alone would mean not married and not fucking relevant to the conversation though wouldn't it?

We're discussing a trip away from his wife, so it is relevant - more relevant than your bit about people knowing you'd take ice cream from the freezer.

And getting back to that, it supports my point. A person who wants to maintain a reputation, be it dieting or fidelity, is less likely to cheat on that reputation when it's more likely he'll be caught. A trip away from the spouse reduces the chance of being caught.

Quote:I am of the mind that most men are not wild sex crazed beasts.

I probably wouldn't go that far, either, but men do think about sex an awful lot, and negative consequences to cheating are a barrier to cheating.

Quote:I do not believe it is any more difficult for a man to resist the urge to cheat than it is for a woman. (Yes, we like fucking orgasms too. Many aren't as open about it as I am and in a society that tells men that women don't care about sex I would say it's even more difficult for a woman to resist the urge to cheat because she has a higher probability of not being sexually satisfied by her partner, but then I'm going off on a rant that isn't technically relevant).

We've been discussing things from the POV of the husband. Yes, married women should also avoid situations of temptation.

Quote:I do not believe that being exposed to the opportunity to cheat makes a person more likely to cheat.

I know, and that's why your position is stupid.

Quote:I still haven't seen you present any evidence of this besides from I've seen many men blah blah blah.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/14...63225.html
Business travel often provides a cheating spouse the perfect cover for an extramarital affair. They are the most common settings for infidelity, according to “The Normal Bar” by Chrisanna Northrup, Pepper Schwartz and James Witte; 36 percent of men and 13 percent of women told the authors that they gave into temptation while on a business trip — even if they said they were happily married. An out-of-town trip can allow a cheating spouse the luxury of conducting his or her affair in a location that's far from the sight of prying eyes.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/22...83371.html
According to data collected from The Normal Bar, 33% of men and 19% of women admitted to being unfaithful... But many of the individuals polled stressed that frequency of sexual infidelity matters. And there is a big difference between a single one-night stand in the course of a twenty-year marriage and a regular pattern of sexual affairs. Seventeen percent of the women who’d been sexually unfaithful and 23% of the men said it happened only once; and 36% of women and 33% of men said it happened two to five times. But that left more than 40% of unfaithful men and women who had to admit that it happened on more of a consistent basis!

The 40% of cheaters who are consistently unfaithful are your cheaters gonna cheat group, and I agree that they'll find ways to cheat. However, the rest - and particularly the one in 5 who only cheated once - would likely have benefited by reducing temptation.

Have you ever heard of a married person contacting an old flame and ending up in an affair? Same thing. Avoid temptation, because people can fail despite initial good intentions.

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(January 2, 2015 at 10:09 pm)Rhythm Wrote: I'm going to do that regardless Alpha. It's not as though I have to choose.

On any particular night you do. Women generally aren't giving up their best to husbands who come home boozy from a strip club.

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(January 3, 2015 at 3:43 am)Parkers Tan Wrote: Calling that male sexuality is nonsense. Call it what it is: thoughtless, selfish sexuality on the part of men who have made a solemn promise. It is not limited to men, nor is it universal amongst men.

I've never cheated in an exclusive relationship, and I never will. And it doesn't matter what she looks like, what she's dressed in, or if anyone will ever find out.

Oh, and I'm male.

Settle down, son, I'm just talking probabilities. As noted above, one study found that nearly three times more men than women cheated on business trips. But no, I'm not suggesting that every man has an affair once he reaches X miles away from his wife.

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@Losty: Here's an interesting article. Studies show that executive control (their term for making up your mind) is not absolute, as you suggest, but rather is a limited resource which is affected by stress and temptation.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-barr...58102.html
Therefore, executive control may play a role in cheating behaviors. If your long-term goal is to stay committed to your partner, and you've got a heck of a lot of temptation, this requires a heck of a lot of executive control. Executive control may also help people avoid situations in the first place where they may experience the lure of attractive potential partners.

(January 3, 2015 at 10:20 am)alpha male Wrote: On any particular night you do. Women generally aren't giving up their best to husbands who come home boozy from a strip club.

I don't know what to say...sorry yall's wives are lazy half-assers? Where are we headed with this anyway. Started out with

"gotta be a puritan gigglestick because otherwise you'll cheat on your wife"
-maybe you do, I don't.

....then
"well, if you avoided strip clubs you could actually fuck your wife"
-going to anyway

....now
"well....she's gonna lay there like a log while you fuck her."
-no she isn't

Maybe you can't trust yourself, and maybe your wife applies a merit system to how hard she sucks your dick (I'm thinking little glittery star stickers on a big dry erase board?)......but what does that have to do with the rest of us?

(December 30, 2014 at 9:22 pm)JesusChristLover Wrote: My wife keeps sucking the life out of me. I forgot to wish her Happy Birthday and she went all nuts, to the point of going for a night out with another man (who is apparently just a friend).

Just a few weeks ago, she went on full rage because I forgot to book tickets for a movie.

All this drama started a few months ago when I left for a week's vacation to New Zealand with my buddies.

What should I do?

*PS: She is not cheating with me - that I am fully convinced.

You should wake the fuck up and smell the coffee.

Stop being such a selfish shit.

(January 3, 2015 at 11:06 am)Rhythm Wrote:

(January 3, 2015 at 10:20 am)alpha male Wrote: On any particular night you do. Women generally aren't giving up their best to husbands who come home boozy from a strip club.

I don't know what to say...so

So you'll make up things that were never said and put them in quotation marks as if they were.

Quote:Maybe you can't trust yourself, and maybe your wife applies a merit system to how hard she sucks your dick (I'm thinking little glittery star stickers on a big dry erase board?)......but what does that have to do with the rest of us?

For most of us, yes, our wives give us better sex if we treat them good. I would say yours is the exception...except I think you're making up all this shit as you go.