Yeh he blatantly didn't shame his girlfriend or say there was anything inherently wrong with her, just that they were incompatible.

Even if you read into it that he did say bad things about his girlfriend, no one here knows who he is or who his girlfriend is and they are still basically anonymous.

Not necessarily. If she ever comes across this... can you imagine how she would feel about it? I mean, come on, it still has the potential to get back to her - especially if he leaves his computer open and she happens to see these forums. It wouldn't take much to figure it out.

(April 21, 2015 at 11:41 am)Judi Lynn Wrote: Not necessarily. If she ever comes across this... can you imagine how she would feel about it? I mean, come on, it still has the potential to get back to her - especially if he leaves his computer open and she happens to see these forums. It wouldn't take much to figure it out.

In that case she will just find out the information about herself which she already knows, and the information her boyfriend is considering breaking up with her which he was going to tell her anyway.  She will still be anonymous to everyone on the forum since no one knows who this guy is or who is girlfriend is.
I've run the risk before of asking for advice about girls I'm seeing on these forums even though the girls I'm seeing know I use these forums.
And as I've already said he used no insulting language or used her real name or gave a clue as to who they might be or where they live or anything, he just simply said that he and her were incompatible.

(April 21, 2015 at 11:46 am)paulpablo Wrote: And as I've already said he used no insulting language or used her real name or gave a clue as to who they might be or where they live or anything, he just simply said that he and her were incompatible.

He may not have used her real name or provided any information of there location, however, that doesn't excuse the fact that he slut shamed her here AND posted the exact same post over on TTA.
He listed seven things about her past he had an issue with (his words were those were just some of the things she told him). Apparently there was more than just what he listed.

That, in my opinion goes far beyond saying they are just incompatible.

(April 21, 2015 at 11:51 am)Judi Lynn Wrote:

(April 21, 2015 at 11:46 am)paulpablo Wrote: And as I've already said he used no insulting language or used her real name or gave a clue as to who they might be or where they live or anything, he just simply said that he and her were incompatible.

He may not have used her real name or provided any information of there location, however, that doesn't excuse the fact that he slut shamed her here AND posted the exact same post over on TTA.
He listed seven things about her past he had an issue with (his words were those were just some of the things she told him). Apparently there was more than just what he listed.
That, in my opinion goes far beyond saying they are just incompatible.

Well you're basically saying we have no idea who she is or where she is from but that doesn't excuse him slut shaming her.
1) I don't see how he can be shaming a person who nobody knows, on the radio if a celebrity talks about another celebrity and they don't want to shame them they usually say something like "I won't say the guys name."  I don't see how it's shaming if no one knows her. She won't feel ashamed if she finds these things on the forum because either she did them and she knows she did them or he's lying about it, in which case she still has no reason to be ashamed because no one knows on here that he's talking about her and she didn't do them anyway.
2) There was no shaming language used to begin with, he just listed the things she did.  He has an issue with these specific things but he didn't say these things are horrible, slutty, dirty or anything like that.

You know, I've gotten a ton of kudos for my first post in this thread, and I've been called a hypocrite for shaming the OP.


Honestly, what in this:

(April 19, 2015 at 3:39 pm)rexbeccarox Wrote: It's her past, and her business.  The fact that she trusted you enough to tell you those things, then you turn around and join a discussion forum just to slut-shame her tells me all I need to know.  Dump her.  She doesn't deserve your revulsion.

is shaming the OP?  I only stated three facts and two opinions, none of which insult or shame anyone.  The fact that some think they do tells me a lot too.

People who want to be bigoted always need an excuse to do it. Everyone rationalizes their behaviour, including people who discriminate others and people who think they possess souls of dragons and are controlled by reptilians.

What the OP basically said trough a more complex literary style is that "I don't like my girlfriend having experiences with others before me because she must be pure otherwise she's a dirty slut".

(April 21, 2015 at 11:59 am)paulpablo Wrote: Well you're basically saying we have no idea who she is or where she is from but that doesn't excuse him slut shaming her.
1) I don't see how he can be shaming a person who nobody knows, on the radio if a celebrity talks about another celebrity and they don't want to shame them they usually say something like "I won't say the guys name."  I don't see how it's shaming if no one knows her.  She won't feel ashamed if she finds these things on the forum because either she did them and she knows she did them or he's lying about it, in which case she still has no reason to be ashamed because no one knows on here that he's talking about her and she didn't do them anyway.
2) There was no shaming language used to begin with, he just listed the things she did.  He has an issue with these specific things but he didn't say these things are horrible, slutty, dirty or anything like that.

I'm not interested in arguing with you over the semantics of how the OP was written.

Bottom line: He disrespected his girlfriend not once but twice in two different forums. Whether or not he said her name or where they lived is not the issue. He posted personal, intimate information that she shared with him, on a public forum for others to critique. Clearly he has issues and should probably seek some sort of professional help if he has these sort of deep seeded issues over his girlfriend's past. He brought it here and to TTA seeking out opinions and when he didn't get the advice/opinions that he wanted, he insulted the intelligence of those who responded.

Further, if he was looking for anonymous opinions about this issue, why not go to a *relationship* forum and not an atheist forum?

When you got a squeaky wheel, what do you reach for? WD-40, or spaghetti sauce?

(April 21, 2015 at 12:16 pm)Dystopia Wrote: People who want to be bigoted always need an excuse to do it. Everyone rationalizes their behaviour, including people who discriminate others and people who think they possess souls of dragons and are controlled by reptilians.

What the OP basically said trough a more complex literary style is that "I don't like my girlfriend having experiences with others before me because she must be pure otherwise she's a dirty slut".

I was called a bigot today for not wanting to date theists. True story.