I had a mental breakdown

[Ben Davis]

Steel: Oh shit, you're right! I charged up a special move the other day, and I must have got distracted and forgot to release it. It's still glowing now. I'm scared to do the punch though, it will be millions of points of unblockable damage... I might rupture the universe!?

Rob's new avatar:

[Longhorn]

Neim: Thanks for the lovely hug

[Rhondazvous]

Thanks so much everyone You're really kind. I'm feeling pretty good this morning, and you all lift my mood even more! I had a great day out yesterday, I shall tell you all about it later on.

Neim: Thanks for the lovely hug

Exian: That made me belly laugh She'll be pleased to know she's achieving such status I did take some pictures yesterday, although they didn't come out great. I'll have to see if I can get them off my phone onto the computer. I keep trying to collect more evidence for my wife's existence, but it's difficult. If I take a photo of her, she always disappears from the picture, like the camera can't see her. I'll figure something out...

NoMoreProp: Yes indeed. I am glad none of our resident theists have tried to insert Jesus into my arse in this thread. I have enough problems up there already.

Becca: Thank you

Rhonda: I really appreciate it, thanks so much I'm trying to give myself the same credit, and the fact that I have bounced back is really reassuring to me. It's possible my body is fucking with me I suppose, they are such strange things. I wouldn't say it is likely, although I can't rule it out! I feel a little anxious about my therapy ending soon, but it's balanced by the excitement of actually being mentally stable enough for it to be able to end on a good note! I'm so glad you continued to find reasons to want to live, you've done amazingly well. I hope life keeps on giving nice things to you "Checking out" is definitely off the table for me now, I hope I have reassured everyone of that. It was an extremely disturbing and dangerous experience, but it was actually only 15 minutes my wife tells me, and it was a blip; I'm sure of that now. I actually fell stronger than before!

Brewer: Thank you, yes she is just amazing. For all the bad luck I've had with health, I hit the jackpot with her. She knows I'm back to being myself, and so I'm allowed to hold heavy and sharp objects again I have indeed laughed today and yesterday too! I had a brilliant day which I'll write all about later on.

Steel: Oh shit, you're right! I charged up a special move the other day, and I must have got distracted and forgot to release it. It's still glowing now. I'm scared to do the punch though, it will be millions of points of unblockable damage... I might rupture the universe!?

Man, I thought Stimbo could make my day, but you've got a leg up on him. Keep doing whatcha doing.

[robvalue]

Thanks Rhonda, that put a nice smile on my face this morning

My therapy went brilliantly yesterday. We talked through the whole thing, and she helped me focus on the fact that I recovered, rather than how bad the ordeal was. We're going to build up a "treasure box", a collection of things that I can turn to when I'm struggling in the future. It will contain all the things I need like my own advice written from a balanced perspective, aimed at the poorly version of me. It's mainly a big reminder that things do pass, and I get through them.

I thought I'd tell you all about the amazing day I had on Sunday. It came just at the right time, I really needed a boost after that awful couple of days.

I went to a video game event in Margate, I believe they are touring all over the place. It was just unbelievable! It's set up for people like me who are bonkers about all sorts of games. You buy your ticket, then you can play in anything you want for free. They had just about every gaming device you could think up set up, with multiple copies of each, and each had a different game set up. There were hundreds to choose from! Too many for me to play in the 5 hours or so I was there. Oh wow it was so cool...

It was a like walking through my own memory, seeing all the games and systems I've loved for over 30 years. There were also some I'd never seen before. They had an arcade section with genuine retro arcade machines all set to free play! I played on a game I'd literally never seen anywhere for about 20 years. There was also about 10 pinball machines all set to free play. The atmosphere was incredible, there was no one being a dick, everyone was just sharing in their love of games. There was no pushing or shoving, and there was so much to play there was always things available.

They had the front room set up with stalls as well, with people selling all manner of retro games and consoles. I was half hoping to pick up an N64 and donkey kong 64, but they cost too much! Instead I bought a card game called Lords of War which is made by a small indy company. The guys who designed it were there and showed me how to play.

I was also sort of hoping there would be a street fighter 2 tournament... Not quite, a street fighter 4 tournament! Cool, but shit, I've not played SF4 hardly at all. I thought what the hell, I'll give it a try. I'd just rely on my old tactics and have a bit of fun while probably getting wiped out in the first round. I'm just not up on all the new crazy shit. I live in the past, a simpler age...

But somehow I actually did quite well! I got through to the final. I faced a guy who I had a few friendlies with before the tournament, and I knew he would crush me. He crushed me. He was way too good, he said he'd been playing SF4 like mental since it came out. Oh well! It was a massive adrenaline rush, and in all my years of playing street fighter as a kid, the first time I'd ever played in a tournament. I played Akuma as he follows the same kind of formula as ryu but he has a few more tricks that I'd picked up while playing him briefly in later games.

It was a fantastic day, I hope I get to go to something like this again one day!

[ignoramus]

Rob, like everything in life, it's the little things which we remember mostly...
Keep having lots of memorable little "things"...

[brewer]

My therapy went brilliantly yesterday. We talked through the whole thing, and she helped me focus on the fact that I recovered, rather than how bad the ordeal was. We're going to build up a "treasure box", a collection of things that I can turn to when I'm struggling in the future. It will contain all the things I need like my own advice written from a balanced perspective, aimed at the poorly version of me. It's mainly a big reminder that things do pass, and I get through them.

That sounds like some mighty fine CBT, I'll tell you what. I think I like your therapist.

I'm jealous. From all evidence a great time and got a chance to recharge the ol brain pan thingy. What do you Brits say,,,,,,,Brilliant! No that sounds Aussie. How about Good Show!

[Ravenshire]

I might rupture the universe!?

So, you're learning to divide by zero, then? Look out Chuck Norris!

[Salacious B. Crumb]

Hellllzzz Yeaaaa Rob! Way to go. I'm glad that you're happy. You sound excited. That sounds like a fun day.

[The Valkyrie]

First up, hopefully you're felling better.

Second, NEVER feel guilty or stressed about going to an A&E - That's what they're there for.  Even if you start feeling better on the way, go anyway: better to be safe than sorry.

You or your wife had every right to ask for another nurse.  They're there to help you, not to judge you or treat you like dirt.  Ask to see a doctor or the supervisor if a nurse treats you that way.

Hopefully, now that you've seen a doctor, you'll have access to the medication/support you need.

My thoughts are with you.

[robvalue]

Thanks so much everyone I feel the kindness of your words like an internet hug

Beccs: I didn't realize you could ask for another nurse, I'll bear that in mind in the future, thanks. The one who looked after me when I first arrived was really nice, and made me feel very comfortable. Then her shift ended, and she was replaced by this cold uncaring one.

I'm doing a lot better now, thanks I'm going to have to go see my Chron's specialist as this is the second episode within a few months. I don't know if there's anything else he can do at the moment. He's said ultimately he plans to remove the stricture by surgery, but at the moment it's so small that it would be too hard to find once I'm opened up.