Let's Talk About Saints!

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Any interesting or intriguing tidbits about saints (yes, I know, sainthood is a con, this is just a bit of fun)? I'll start:

Michael the archangel; patron saint of police officers, military, mariners, paratroopers, EMTs, the Greek Air Force, knights, swordsmiths and grocers.

One of these is not like the others.

Boru

[Ben Davis]

Prayers to Saints are one of the strongest arguments that the Abrahamic religions are actually practical polytheisms. They can claim to be monotheistic as much as they like but when the sheer spread of saints, prophets, angels etc. is examined, alongside the fanaticism with which believers in their influence (as evidenced by places like Lourdes), it's clear that they have the largest number of gods of any polytheisms ever!

[vorlon13]

So, if there is a patron saint for sexually exploited children, and it is then proven while alive, that saint abused children, can we assume the entire saint thing is a big steaming pile of bullshit ??

[Cyberman]

I read this as "let's talk about stains" and I was just about to relate my Domestos conversion story.

[Pat Mustard]

Their policy of nurturing young talent and underappreciated foreign players before selling them on to Liverpool for $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ has faltered a bit this year. And now with Klopp at the 'pool they'll need to find a new rube, i mean customer.

Oh, you mean Christian saint , I thought you meant Southampton St Mary's.

[Homeless Nutter]

The Roman Catholic Church in 1319CE was desperate to canonize Thomas Aquinas, because they probably thought it might be good, if not all of their saints were mentally unbalanced morons, who got themselves murdered for generally being a nuisance. The process however required two "confirmed" miracles performed by the prospective saint. And Thomas was not a particularly fitting figure for a model of christian virtue, what with him having been a glutton, a drunkard and not particularly preoccupied with the welfare of the poor.

Long story short, one of the "miracles" the church had to resort to using was this "event":

IX. Asked if he knew of other miracles attributed to brother Thomas, the witness said that he had heard of many; and in particular that when Thomas lay sick in the castle of Maenza and was urged to eat something, he answered, ‘I would eat fresh herrings, if I had some.’ Now it happened that a pedlar called just then with salted fish. He was asked to open his baskets, and one was found full of fresh herrings, though it had contained only salted fish. But when the herrings were brought to Thomas, he would not eat them.

http://www.sedevacantist.com/stthomas/stcanonise.html

And here's another of his "works":

LX. -[...] Once, at Paris, Thomas, on rising in the morning, found that one of his teeth had grown in a way that hindered him in his speech. He had to conclude a public disputation that morning; so there was nothing for it, he thought, but to set himself to prayer. So he went and prayed, and after a while the tooth fell into his hand. He showed it to Reginald; and afterwards he used to carry it about as a reminder of God’s goodness to him.

So, yeah - good to know that the magic requirements for sainthood were as conveniently low back then as they are now...

On a side-note - Thomas Aquinas wouldn't eat the herring he'd just magicked up - loss of appetite - and was spitting out his teeth?... Hmmm... Was he the first meth-head?...

[Minimalist]

Most of those saintly bullshit stories were created for commercial reasons.  Each church needed some relic and the gorier and more lurid the death tale the better the idiot pilgrims liked it.

Read Candida Moss'  "The Myth of Persecution" for much more information about this saint travesty.  Just more of the catholicks selling bullshit to morons.

[vorlon13]

The Roman Catholic Church in 1319CE was desperate to canonize Thomas Aquinas, because they probably thought it might be good, if not all of their saints were mentally unbalanced morons, who got themselves murdered for generally being a nuisance. The process however required two "confirmed" miracles performed by the prospective saint. And Thomas was not a particularly fitting figure for a model of christian virtue, what with him having been a glutton, a drunkard and not particularly preoccupied with the welfare of the poor.

Long story short, one of the "miracles" the church had to resort to using was this "event":

IX. Asked if he knew of other miracles attributed to brother Thomas, the witness said that he had heard of many; and in particular that when Thomas lay sick in the castle of Maenza and was urged to eat something, he answered, ‘I would eat fresh herrings, if I had some.’ Now it happened that a pedlar called just then with salted fish. He was asked to open his baskets, and one was found full of fresh herrings, though it had contained only salted fish. But when the herrings were brought to Thomas, he would not eat them.

http://www.sedevacantist.com/stthomas/stcanonise.html

And here's another of his "works":

LX. -[...] Once, at Paris, Thomas, on rising in the morning, found that one of his teeth had grown in a way that hindered him in his speech. He had to conclude a public disputation that morning; so there was nothing for it, he thought, but to set himself to prayer. So he went and prayed, and after a while the tooth fell into his hand. He showed it to Reginald; and afterwards he used to carry it about as a reminder of God’s goodness to him.

So, yeah - good to know that the magic requirements for sainthood were as conveniently low back then as they are now...

On a side-note - Thomas Aquinas wouldn't eat the herring he'd just magicked up - loss of appetite - and was spitting out his teeth?... Hmmm... Was he the first meth-head?...

Yaws and goiters

Scurvy

Emmerods

Bilitis

thallium poisoning