So I grew up and still live in a small and largely-polish town in the USA. To anyone who doesn't know, Poland is extremely religious. I believe it's currently something like 90% Roman Catholic, and the rest are either some smaller religions and a very small portion is atheist. It's the same in my town, almost everyone is religious.
As a kid, my parents put me into a catholic school. I was taught religion, and the school stressed religion above all other subjects, resulting in me receiving an extremely below-average education in other subjects, especially science. They taught only what they felt wasn't "dangerous" in the science class.
However, I had a passion for science. I would learn everything I could about it, and read up on all the literature I could find. One day I would dream of being an astronomer, then a chemist, then a I would keep science and religion separate in my brain. When I'm doing science, I don't think about religion, and vice versa. I did my best to not let the two cross.
As my teachers began to realize this, their attitude changed toward me. They weren't so nice and accepting. They saw my interest in science as a threat to their religion. I remember one of my teachers always yelling at me and frequently calling me the "catalyst," and that I would be the kind of person who destroys the nice things in the world and that I pollute the minds of other students. I didn't know what to think.
So fast-forward to 7th grade. I finish it, and it's summer. The school closes due to a lack of students (my class only had 13), so I ended up going to the public school in my town for the one year of 8th grade before high school. In my town, children receive the sacrament of confirmation during 8th grade, so I would go to special classes over the course of 8th grade to prepare for it. This was the first time I began having doubts about my faith. I began questioning why I've never felt a god directly. All the nuns and priests tell me they feel god's love in the world and inside them, but I didn't feel it. I remember one of the main questions I would ask myself being, "What kind of god hides himself from those who believe in him?" I prayed and believed through the course of my childhood, yet I've never had a prayer answered or felt him in my life.
I considered not getting confirmed. Again, for whoever doesn't know, confirmation is a sacrament we receive. It's a process where the archbishop comes in and "seals" us with the gift of the holy spirit. It's kind of like a "are you really a Christian" thing. But in the end, I was pressured into doing it. I was hands-down the best student in my town, never dropping a single grade below a 95. A lot of people's eyes were on me, and I just couldn't in the end.
So fast-forward to when 8th grade is ending. I send out applications to two high schools: Paramus Catholic and Bergen County Academies. One is a religious high school that's popular in my area, and one is a math and science based high school known for being rated #5 in the country and very difficult. I ended up getting a full scholarship to PC and accepted into BCA. Members of my community congratulated me and told me I had a gift from god, which pissed me off. I had worked hard and studied to get to where I was. I separated myself from religion to attain my success, yet these fools attributed my success to religion anyway. To be fair, nobody knew about the religious doubts I had yet, but it angered me nevertheless.
I ultimately chose BCA. I had a disgusting discussion with my parents telling them I don't believe in a god, which consisted of an hour of them trying to change my mind, and another hour of disowning me and comparing me to my sister, who went to PC and is still religious. It was one of the hardest days of my life.
But now I'm a rising sophomore in BCA. I'm doing research in treating cancer by repairing damaged genes via viral transfection, and I recently got offered a chance to do research in Stevens Institute of Technology in theoretical quantum computing over my junior year summer. I've got a good path ahead of me to become a scientist, and I attribute all of my success to walking away from my religion.
To this day, some people still don't know that I'm an atheist. Those who do frown upon me. I personally couldn't care less. It's me who will be improving the world in 20 years through scientific breakthroughs, and them who will be sitting on a church bench with their whole life centered around a lie.
Looking back on my childhood, I was never given a fair choice. I was forced into a catholic school before I knew what religion even was, and pressured into staying religious after I was smart enough to recognize it for what it truly is. I realized that one of the only reason religion thrives is due to it being forced upon little children. If religion wasn't enforced and only presented as a choice to adults when they are able to understand it, then it would die out as most would simply refuse it for being illogical. Religion is a virus, which spreads through ideas and is particularly contagious to children.
I'm grateful that I was able to escape it. I'm glad I was able to see through the lies, and build success for myself founded on the principles of science. If religion if a virus, I've developed an immunity, which gave me a chance to make something out of myself.
As a kid, my parents put me into a catholic school. I was taught religion, and the school stressed religion above all other subjects, resulting in me receiving an extremely below-average education in other subjects, especially science. They taught only what they felt wasn't "dangerous" in the science class.
However, I had a passion for science. I would learn everything I could about it, and read up on all the literature I could find. One day I would dream of being an astronomer, then a chemist, then a I would keep science and religion separate in my brain. When I'm doing science, I don't think about religion, and vice versa. I did my best to not let the two cross.
As my teachers began to realize this, their attitude changed toward me. They weren't so nice and accepting. They saw my interest in science as a threat to their religion. I remember one of my teachers always yelling at me and frequently calling me the "catalyst," and that I would be the kind of person who destroys the nice things in the world and that I pollute the minds of other students. I didn't know what to think.
So fast-forward to 7th grade. I finish it, and it's summer. The school closes due to a lack of students (my class only had 13), so I ended up going to the public school in my town for the one year of 8th grade before high school. In my town, children receive the sacrament of confirmation during 8th grade, so I would go to special classes over the course of 8th grade to prepare for it. This was the first time I began having doubts about my faith. I began questioning why I've never felt a god directly. All the nuns and priests tell me they feel god's love in the world and inside them, but I didn't feel it. I remember one of the main questions I would ask myself being, "What kind of god hides himself from those who believe in him?" I prayed and believed through the course of my childhood, yet I've never had a prayer answered or felt him in my life.
I considered not getting confirmed. Again, for whoever doesn't know, confirmation is a sacrament we receive. It's a process where the archbishop comes in and "seals" us with the gift of the holy spirit. It's kind of like a "are you really a Christian" thing. But in the end, I was pressured into doing it. I was hands-down the best student in my town, never dropping a single grade below a 95. A lot of people's eyes were on me, and I just couldn't in the end.
So fast-forward to when 8th grade is ending. I send out applications to two high schools: Paramus Catholic and Bergen County Academies. One is a religious high school that's popular in my area, and one is a math and science based high school known for being rated #5 in the country and very difficult. I ended up getting a full scholarship to PC and accepted into BCA. Members of my community congratulated me and told me I had a gift from god, which pissed me off. I had worked hard and studied to get to where I was. I separated myself from religion to attain my success, yet these fools attributed my success to religion anyway. To be fair, nobody knew about the religious doubts I had yet, but it angered me nevertheless.
I ultimately chose BCA. I had a disgusting discussion with my parents telling them I don't believe in a god, which consisted of an hour of them trying to change my mind, and another hour of disowning me and comparing me to my sister, who went to PC and is still religious. It was one of the hardest days of my life.
But now I'm a rising sophomore in BCA. I'm doing research in treating cancer by repairing damaged genes via viral transfection, and I recently got offered a chance to do research in Stevens Institute of Technology in theoretical quantum computing over my junior year summer. I've got a good path ahead of me to become a scientist, and I attribute all of my success to walking away from my religion.
To this day, some people still don't know that I'm an atheist. Those who do frown upon me. I personally couldn't care less. It's me who will be improving the world in 20 years through scientific breakthroughs, and them who will be sitting on a church bench with their whole life centered around a lie.
Looking back on my childhood, I was never given a fair choice. I was forced into a catholic school before I knew what religion even was, and pressured into staying religious after I was smart enough to recognize it for what it truly is. I realized that one of the only reason religion thrives is due to it being forced upon little children. If religion wasn't enforced and only presented as a choice to adults when they are able to understand it, then it would die out as most would simply refuse it for being illogical. Religion is a virus, which spreads through ideas and is particularly contagious to children.
I'm grateful that I was able to escape it. I'm glad I was able to see through the lies, and build success for myself founded on the principles of science. If religion if a virus, I've developed an immunity, which gave me a chance to make something out of myself.
