Feeling inferior to pretty women (or women I like)

[Silver]

Fuck this society.

I quite enjoy the chaos. It calms me.

[Arkilogue]

Fuck this society.

I quite enjoy the chaos.  It calms me.

Seems we're similarly twisted...but true chaos is formlessness, no thing arising or falling at all. And it is very calming.

What we have today is the common disorder of insane animals.
Caged from their natural enviroment for so long they've comepletely lost their sense of connection to the universe that produced them...
.....and they console themselves in destructive loops of insanity.

[KevinM1]

Meh, humiliation is an emotion you must invest in in order for its threat to be potent. Any woman wants to make fun of me because her friend told me "no", that's a woman who's crossed herself off my list for her shallow vanity and concern over conformity.

Yup. It goes back to "why do you care about what other people think when they've demonstrated their own idiocy?"

I mean unless this university girl's friends harassed you (which is something that should've been documented and reported to school officials), then all that really happened was you dodging a bullet. Because, trust me, you don't want to date a girl that hangs out with shallow, bitchy friends.

I don't understand why you don't want to have a relationship based on interests. You need to have something in common with the person you want a relationship with. Moreover, it's the perfect way to organically meet someone rather than making a big show (with all that added pressure) of asking someone out on an Official Date™.

The best relationships are those that start off as genuine friendship and blossom into something more. Why? Because a lasting romantic relationship has friendship as its base. Your partner is supposed to be someone you enjoy spending time with and talking to. The romantic part is layered on top of that. That's why there's a 'honeymoon period', and why transitioning out of that phase is so revealing. A lot of times, it turns out it was just a fling, and once the excitement and novelty wears off, there's nothing meaningful there.

So my advice is:

1. Relax. Don't elevate attractive people (or anyone, really) above your own sense of self-worth. To paraphrase something from The 40 Year Old Virgin (apologies in advance, ladies), you need to stop putting pussy on a pedestal. Physical beauty says nothing about intelligence or character, which are attributes far more worthy of your attention. Moreover, try to de-mystify the idea of a date. Culturally, we put a ton of weight on a first date, almost to the point of reverence. It's dumb. Don't buy into the hype. And an easy way to reduce the stress is to...

2. Find some kind of activity you enjoy or would like to try and make friends. If one of them is an attractive female, maybe ask them to go get a bite to eat or something else totally casual that doesn't put her on the spot and force her to decide if the relationship will be upgraded then and there. Remember: she has the right to say no. But playing cool gives you a chance to keep the friendship intact if she does say no, and it removes most of the "I think you're pretty. Want to go out with me?" awkwardness.

[Excited Penguin]

Date down.

[Arkilogue]

Date down.

[bennyboy]

Yes, so what? I know many of you will call me a faggot or whatever. Idgf

I am a 21 year old male who has never kissed a girl or anything.  I often live off platonic loves. Liking a girl who I dont even know for years, and not being able to tolerate her presence because I start trembling, sweating, stuttering, cant think clearly, and feel like my legs have a 1000 KG ball attached to them (heavy). I often feel inferior to women who are pretty (in a specific way), or to the girl I like. Recently I even feel anger because is something I can barely control. Even when I read manga, or watch TV, etc. If there is a pretty female character, I almost immediatly feel annoyed by her. 

Take into account, though, that I am not shy in general. I speak well in public, and I can speak to anyone including women. EXCEPT, the girl I like. She is the only one who breaks me. 

Has anyone ever felt the same? It is like a love-hate sensation. You like her, and the same time you hate her.

Your problem is you aren't drinking the right drinks or taking the right drugs.

Seriously, though, you are putting these girls on a pedestal.  I was much like that when I was younger, and I think a lot of guys are.  It's pretty normal.

What you need to do is to romantically approach girls you DON'T like.  Say a variety of things.  Try being smooth, or tough, or shy, or bragging a lot.  See how people react.  Eventually you'll start seeing some common patterns.  You might even find that the girl you think is so special is just another girl-- she'll respond to the same things that the girls you don't like did.

My story:
In college I had one late-night class with a very pretty girl.  Turns out she was an exotic dancer.  Every night after class, she gave me a ride home (about 30 minutes drive), at her offer.  She spent almost all the time complaining about her boyfriend or boys in general: "Nobody respects me.  I can't find a nice guy.  Guys are such jerks."  It's like I was invisible-- she never asked me if I wanted to go for a drink, never gave any sign that I was more than a listening device.

Eventually I got mad, and super-sarcastic.  I said, "Oh your life is soooooo hard.  I'm so sorry, how can you handle all this stress?  It's just not faiiiirrr."  I expected a slap for my dripping-bitter sarcasm.  But she was oblivious.  She said, "You're riiiiight!  You understand me.  Want to go get a drink?"  I was like. . . dude wtf.

At school over the next week I went up and poured sugar on all the prettiest girls in the music campus.  "Oh, you have a sore throat?  Ohhhhh, poooooor girl.  But hey. . . that's a lovely dress, it makes you look soooo hot!" and so on.  The result. . . bennyboy got sex.  Lots of sex, with girls much too pretty for a skinny long-hair like him.  And a girlfriend.

The moral-- don't put girls on a pedestal.  Every person is as unsure and vulnerable as you are, and most important-- most people are so distracted by their own issues that they really aren't going to be put out by any of yours, unless you advertise them and dwell on them.


--edit--
You don't REALLY hate girls, you hate yourself. Don't start collecting bodies just to avoid looking in the mirror and saying, "Hey. . . not too bad!" ok?

[paulpablo]

Yes, so what? I know many of you will call me a faggot or whatever. Idgf

I am a 21 year old male who has never kissed a girl or anything.  I often live off platonic loves. Liking a girl who I dont even know for years, and not being able to tolerate her presence because I start trembling, sweating, stuttering, cant think clearly, and feel like my legs have a 1000 KG ball attached to them (heavy). I often feel inferior to women who are pretty (in a specific way), or to the girl I like. Recently I even feel anger because is something I can barely control. Even when I read manga, or watch TV, etc. If there is a pretty female character, I almost immediatly feel annoyed by her. 

Take into account, though, that I am not shy in general. I speak well in public, and I can speak to anyone including women. EXCEPT, the girl I like. She is the only one who breaks me. 

Has anyone ever felt the same? It is like a love-hate sensation. You like her, and the same time you hate her.

Yes I've felt the same in relation to nerves and talking with very very good looking women.

It's tough trying to have a convo with a woman about normal day to day things when the primitive part of your mind and your balls are screaming at you, telling you that impregnating this genetic masterpiece is imperative and worth risking your life and possibly some limbs for.

I'm 31 now though and better at controlling my emotions than I used to be



But I've never felt hatred for women for this reason that I can remember.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Fuck this society.

I quite enjoy the chaos.  It calms me.

Deeeep ... dude.

[Athene]

Maybe some therapy would useful.

You wouldn't want that misdirected rage turning into something ugly and unlawful, would you?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Yes, so what? I know many of you will call me a faggot or whatever. Idgf

I am a 21 year old male who has never kissed a girl or anything.  I often live off platonic loves. Liking a girl who I dont even know for years, and not being able to tolerate her presence because I start trembling, sweating, stuttering, cant think clearly, and feel like my legs have a 1000 KG ball attached to them (heavy). I often feel inferior to women who are pretty (in a specific way), or to the girl I like. Recently I even feel anger because is something I can barely control. Even when I read manga, or watch TV, etc. If there is a pretty female character, I almost immediatly feel annoyed by her. 

Take into account, though, that I am not shy in general. I speak well in public, and I can speak to anyone including women. EXCEPT, the girl I like. She is the only one who breaks me. 

Has anyone ever felt the same? It is like a love-hate sensation. You like her, and the same time you hate her.

Here's what you do: Buy a guitar and learn to play. You don't have to learn a lot, even. Once you nail three chords in two keys, you're done. Find a way to get this girl you like to know that you play guitar. She'll be impressed (I don't know why, but they usually are) and your feelings of inferiority - and hopefully the anger - will vanish like fart in a hurricane.

The only flaw in this plan would be if this girl also plays guitar. In that case, I recommend a sousaphone.

Boru