How's Everyone Feeling Right Meow?

[LadyForCamus]

That's the thing -- this isn't an urge. I don't want to drink. But I've got my feelings tied into knots a little.

I should probably just chalk it up to a stupid dream and move on.

Yeah...sometimes the unsettling emotions of a dream can last longer than you want them to! You'll probably feel yourself again by tomorrow. Hopefully! [emoji106]

[Thumpalumpacus]

Thanks, Thena .



My feelings are tweaked, I think, because of the blase attitude I had in my dream about drinking again. What does that say about me, I'm asking myself.

Clearly I need to redouble and refocus so that I don't get bitten by complacency.

[*Deidre*]

Sad because I learned that a friend of mine - her husband is cheating on her. I will never understand cheaters.

[Athene]

Thanks, Thena .



My feelings are tweaked, I think, because of the blase attitude I had in my dream about drinking again. What does that say about me, I'm asking myself.

Clearly I need to redouble and refocus so that I don't get bitten by complacency.

Could be that it doesn't mean anything, or that there's anything that needs doing.

It could've just been a manifestation of your subconscious fear of becoming complacent, as it already exists.

Are dreams complex puzzles to be unlocked/interpreted, or simply random expressions of the subconscious while the brain's at rest? I'm not sure. 
I tend to believe the latter, but I'm no psychologist.

I could definitely ask one for you tomorrow, though.

[vorlon13]

Had a very close call with a piece of farm machinery yesterday.

I wasn't injured, and nothing was damaged except for a very small tree that was run over.  And I knocked off a CB antenna.

Anyhow, I was really rattled from the experience.  I was surprised my knees were shaking, and enough it was hard to walk.  Meanwhile, the rest of the crew had arrived and was 'awestruck' I hadn't broken anything or injured/killed myself as the near accident wouldn't have been survivable.  (I very nearly went down a steep incline after the motor stopped running, and when that happens there are no brakes and VERY limited steering ability)  (and we still don't know what's wrong with the motor, BTW.  Might be a fuel feed problem, might be a bad vent valve on one of the fuel tanks)

So, the work around for the time being;

I've always been cautious about going down that hill with a full load on, but over the years with out a 'fresh' reminder of precisely how things can go wrong there, I had been inadvertently varying the parameters of my routine for going down the hill.  The idea being, you don't want to do things on the way down the hill, you want to do them on top of the hill where it's level, then proceed down the hill cautiously.

Anyhow, the start of the slope is gradual, and then steepens.  I've been incrementally configuring the rig a little further past the point where the slope starts over the years, and nearly got bit by that. With a full load, the rig is accelerating as it starts the slope.  Graph all this out, and your rejected takeoff time gets really short and then evaporates.

It is vitally important to get the rig in the right gear while still on top, on the level.  By slightly delaying downshifting to a seemingly inconsequential part of the beginning slope, a sudden loss of engine power while shifting (the engine goes to idle when you kick the clutch out and remove your foot from the accelerator and put it on the brake pedal.  Since this is a diesel, if the engine doesn't idle but instead stops, you immediately lose power brakes and power steering.

I could have put the truck back in gear, the inertia would have spun the motor enough to get the power assists working, or I could rely on upper body strength to wrestle the steering wheel enough to nose the rig into an embankment.  Since I've already mentioned the tree getting zorched, you're aware that's the option I took.

I knew I could accomplish the maneuver, under sudden adrenaline surges I've been surprised before how strong I can be if needed.  As for going back into gear, I did not like that option at all.  I didn't know what was wrong with the motor, this sudden power loss is unprecedented, so trying to continue down the hill and hoping the power assist comes back seemed like a bad idea.  I did not want to go down the hill.

I could tell by the pressure on the brake pedal, it was hopeless that anything I could do with that would help.  There is a parking brake, but fully loaded, accelerating and moving down hill, the stopping distance would be in the thousands of feet.  And there is a curve 1/3 the way down the hill, the lack of steering at that point is going to turn this excursion into a cross country event.  Through a fence, across a field, through some ditches, and into a ravine with a guaranteed sudden stop at the bottom.

Anyhow, I'm fine, didn't break anything of consequence, left some interesting tracks to contemplate, and I spent all day today going a different route, away from the fucking hill.

And I'm still rattled.


Had bizarre nightmare last night about being naked in a strange house. And no, it wasn't a sexual dream, more of a wrong place wrong time theme . . .

[c172]

Fragile, in a way, but this infection seems to be over. I think. Illness just really messes with life.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Thanks, Thena .



My feelings are tweaked, I think, because of the blase attitude I had in my dream about drinking again. What does that say about me, I'm asking myself.

Clearly I need to redouble and refocus so that I don't get bitten by complacency.

Could be that it doesn't mean anything, or that there's anything that needs doing.

It could've just been a manifestation of your subconscious fear of becoming complacent, as it already exists.

Are dreams complex puzzles to be unlocked/interpreted, or simply random expressions of the subconscious while the brain's at rest? I'm not sure. 
I tend to believe the latter, but I'm no psychologist.

I could definitely ask one for you tomorrow, though.

Yeah, I've got mixed opinions about the significance, or lack thereof, of dreams. I'm not worried about it now ... I'm focused on staying steady and keeping true.

Your offer's appreciated, but there's no need for it. Thank you.

[Athene]

---

Could be that it doesn't mean anything, or that there's anything that needs doing.

It could've just been a manifestation of your subconscious fear of becoming complacent, as it already exists.

Are dreams complex puzzles to be unlocked/interpreted, or simply random expressions of the subconscious while the brain's at rest? I'm not sure. 
I tend to believe the latter, but I'm no psychologist.

---

I could definitely ask one for you tomorrow, though.

Yeah, I've got mixed opinions about the significance, or lack thereof, of dreams. I'm not worried about it now ... I'm focused on staying steady and keeping true.

Your offer's appreciated, but there's no need for it. Thank you.

heh heh...the offer was meant taken to be with a grain of salt, because the psychologist is a patient where I work. 
So, you know...

Yeah..I've got a bad habit of making inside jokes, only I get.

Anyhow, I'm glad you're feeling better about things. You do seem to be very vigilant and mindful when it comes the the big picture. 
It appears that you do quite a bit right, IMO; that's all.

Hang in there.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Sorry, hon -- my humor detector's in the shop getting new vacuum tubes and a rebias.

[Jackalope]

Are dreams complex puzzles to be unlocked/interpreted, or simply random expressions of the subconscious while the brain's at rest? I'm not sure. 
I tend to believe the latter, but I'm no psychologist.

For whatever it's worth, my psychologist is a psychologist (hey, tautology!) and she says it's the latter.

I am unqualified to contradict her, but I am pleased to be able to believe on good authority that dreams that trouble me don't actually mean anything.