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RE: joke time
November 20, 2016 at 7:42 pm
Made this one up last night:
A lawyer was also a voodoo priest. Before going into court to argue a case, he would put himself into a trance and summon the spirits of his ancestors. He always won because possession is 9/10ths of the law.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: joke time
November 20, 2016 at 7:54 pm
I'm at a mythological monster party. There's a cute cyclops across the room, but I can't tell if she's winking at me or just blinking.
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RE: joke time
November 23, 2016 at 8:08 pm
A joke Boru will love:
These two guys were on death row and scheduled to be executed on the same day.
The day came and they were led to the gas chamber
Warden (to first guy): Do you have a last request?
First guy: To play Achey Breakey Heart on the bagpipes.
Warden: Sure we can arrange that. (to second guy) and do you have a last request?
Second guy: That you kill me first.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: joke time
November 23, 2016 at 8:16 pm
(November 23, 2016 at 8:08 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote: A joke Boru will love:
These two guys were on death row and scheduled to be executed on the same day.
The day came and they were led to the gas chamber
Warden (to first guy): Do you have a last request?
First guy: To play Achey Breakey Heart on the bagpipes.
Warden: Sure we can arrange that. (to second guy) and do you have a last request?
Second guy: That you kill me first.
HA!!
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
November 23, 2016 at 8:18 pm
(November 20, 2016 at 7:54 pm)Aegon Wrote: I'm at a mythological monster party. There's a cute cyclops across the room, but I can't tell if she's winking at me or just blinking.
When people try to sympathize about my missing eye, I always say, 'It isn't that bad, really. The only trouble is that when I wink at a pretty girl, she thinks I'm falling asleep.'
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
November 24, 2016 at 3:49 pm
To mark Blair's imminent return to British politics, we should have a special holiday where we dress effigies of him as a barn owl, trussed up in bondage gear.
We could call it 'Tie Tony Day'.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
November 24, 2016 at 8:53 pm
You - You only hear want you want to hear.
Me - Thanks, I like to keep it short in summer.
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RE: joke time
November 25, 2016 at 2:29 pm
(This post was last modified: November 25, 2016 at 2:29 pm by account_inactive.)
What is Bobby Sands' telephone number?
8080.
Still makes me chuckle.
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RE: joke time
November 25, 2016 at 2:37 pm
So billy was called into the bosses office.
"Billy" he said "You've been caught stealing from the Christmas fund, making lewd comments at the women who work here and racist remarks about the more ethnically diverse work force, our lawyers have looked at your actions and say you can no longer, by law work as a lumber jack", he paused, "given your heinous actions the only job you can legally still do is president of the USA"
You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.
Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.
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RE: joke time
November 25, 2016 at 2:40 pm
(November 25, 2016 at 2:29 pm)Bella Morte Wrote: What is Bobby Sands' telephone number?
8080.
Still makes me chuckle.
Q: What do you call a policeman in Ardoyne?
A: Lost.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
![[Image: nL4L1haz_Qo04rZMFtdpyd1OZgZf9NSnR9-7hAWT...dc2a24480e]](https://external-preview.redd.it/nL4L1haz_Qo04rZMFtdpyd1OZgZf9NSnR9-7hAWTNVY.jpg?width=216&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=7b11e8b38bea0eacc8797fc971574ddc2a24480e)
