Advice on a personal matter

[Jesster]

I'm 30 right now and I can't identify with what you're going through, but I wish you the best all the same. Life has wonderful ways of making us feel awful for the weirdest of reasons.

[account_inactive]

Meh, it's all pointless bullshit. We're all going to die anyway.

[brewer]

OP: Watch Harold and Maude and pay attention to Maude.

"They're just backing away from life. *Reach* out. Take a *chance*. Get *hurt* even. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an E. L-I-V-E. LIVE! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room. "

[PETE_ROSE]

Put yourself out there! Finding a hobby or interest can lead you to like minded people. Then, get out there and do something!

If your immersion in something such as your online life is holding you back or increasing your seclusion; it may be part of the problem. Force yourself to put it aside and make a committed effort to engaging in other pursuits.

You seem like a smart guy with a lot to offer. Don't sell yourself short.

[paulpablo]

Meh, it's all pointless bullshit. We're all going to die anyway.

Stop beating around the bush with your vague, rose tinted optimism.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I would have to say to say fear of getting close to other people, I've had too many bad experiences with getting screwed over in this regard. Mostly over money aspect.

So get close to people emotionally and don't pass money between you two.

Shut down the computer and get out and do things. Hike, bike, take up gardening, learn an instrument. Take a walk around the neighborhood. Volunteer at a food bank. Doing the things you love will bring you into contact with other folks whom you know will have at least one thing in common -- a shared hobby or activity.

You'll have to leave fear behind. All the advice in the world is useless if you don't have the gumption to do that.

[account_inactive]

Meh, it's all pointless bullshit. We're all going to die anyway.

Stop beating around the bush with your vague, rose tinted optimism.

I've never been an optimistic person, it's one of my many downsides.

I wish I was at times, though.


@OP

I think Thump offered good advice.

[Edwardo Piet]

Meh, it's all pointless bullshit. We're all going to die anyway.

Stop beating around the bush with your vague, rose tinted optimism.

You're sarcastic and she's correct.

[Whateverist]

I'm turning thirty soon and I'm really bothered by fact I'm not as young as I once was. I'll elaborate more on why it's bothering me.
over the past I would say eleven years, I've mostly used the internet for my personal socialization. I do talk with others at work, but I never expose my true self; only a small portion is ever is ever shown. Even now, the whole self is never shown; it's out of fear, this fear has granted me comfort and has imprisoned my mentally. I shut myself out of the real world as much I can. The anxiety is really building up and I'm starting to self isolate from the world even more. All I'm starting to see is doors closing and I don't know how to manage this midlife crisis any more.

The anxiety (my bold), like resistance, is futile.  No, that won't make it go away but you might try contemplating the pointlessness a little from time to time.  

As for aging, for me, I've liked everything about aging except the physical decay - slowing metabolism, aches and pains, iffy sleep, that sort of thing.  But the perspective you gain makes life more interesting I find.  My enthusiasm for subjects isn't of the 'falling in love' variety any more but there is a lot of acceptance and appreciation possible with age that, I at least, didn't have when I was younger.  Usually you will have accumulated more of the stuff you think you need by then, perhaps enough that you stop looking to stuff for satisfaction.

Some complain about diminishing sex drive but I find I appreciate it as much as ever but am less consumed by it and there are competing interests to keep it from becoming obsessive.  Sex is one good thing.  There are others .. dogs, plants, gardens, books and movies, nature, art and architecture to name a few.  Personally, while I can enjoy some passive entertainmen I enjoy participatory creative endeavors.  I always want to be open to ideas and inspiration and to be acting on them to make things.  Very fulfilling.

Bottom line: life is finite.  There it goes.  Savor.  Explore.  Make it count but it isn't a test, there are no prizes (that matter) and no one to please but you - but that can actually be trickier than it sounds.

[Edwardo Piet]

I'm nearly 30.

I'm 28. That's NEARLY 30!