The other problems with Noahs ark

[Brian37]

They were normal bears back then.   But a snake lead them astray and their descendant become condemned to eat bamboo.

And they ate children who made fun of old bald fucks.

Yep, so when someone picks on you you have the legal right to assault or even murder them even if all they are doing is picking on you?

I don't think it says the bald guy requested God get the she bears eat them, but who cares? "Maul" would imply sever bodily harm that in real life, if you survived you would end up in critical condition at a minimum even if you survived.

[Minimalist]

Don't forget to add in that the best medical care you'd get would be some fucktard like jesus driving out demons!

[Chad32]

There are a lot of problems. The best explanation they have is magic, though if you used that, then people writing other books can just say magic for their god stories too.

I have yet to see a naturalistic rationalisation of the story that goes for three sentences before pulling the ripcord labelled "magic". I think two is the record.

That's because it falls apart every step of the way, without relying on magic as a crutch. Nothing about this story makes sense naturally. One big elephant in the room is, what are the predators eating? In the versions where it mentions seven of some animals, I believe those are just supposed to be sacrificed to god.

[chimp3]

When I was a kid the Ark story just had barnyard and zoo animals onboard. I really enjoy the story so much more since the I.D.iots added dinosaurs into the mix. Velociraptors and goats. That is like imagining lions and tigers at the shopping malls. A level of unpredictability I did not get to ponder as a child. All these kids that grew up watching Jurassic Park now get to imagine Jurassic Ark.

[brewer]

OP:god gave Noah Flex Seal. No wonder it was the only boat afloat.

[The Industrial Atheist]

I think there was an episode of hugo and jake where they say the dimensions given for the ark are roughly the same as one of those yachts people go on pleasure cruises on.

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[downbeatplumb]

Not in the middle of the Judaean desert.

Can you imagine how many of Noah's stupid neighbors walked by and said " Whoa, man.  What the fuck is THAT?"

Where did he get the wood? Did the larger animals carry trees when they gathered for the trip. Who brought all the food for the animals? How did they distribute themselves in a way that agreed with the fossil evidence afterwards?

The more I think about it the more it seems like a myth that never happened.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Not in the middle of the Judaean desert.

Can you imagine how many of Noah's stupid neighbors walked by and said " Whoa, man.  What the fuck is THAT?"

Where did he get the wood? Did the larger animals carry trees when they gathered for the trip. Who brought all the food for the animals? How did they distribute themselves in a way that agreed with the fossil evidence afterwards?

The more I think about it the more it seems like a myth that never happened.

He had small burrowing mammals gopher the wood.

[Brian37]

Don't forget to add in that the best medical care you'd get would be some fucktard like jesus driving out demons!

Both conservative and liberal Christians are wrong, there is no deity or man with super powers, but damn people, if you are going to cherry pick the bible, "If you cant afford health care, die quickly" would not be the NT Jesus I would want to buy into if I had a belief. The GOP wants to drag us back to the dark ages. At least liberals have some empathy.

[Chad32]

Don't forget to add in that the best medical care you'd get would be some fucktard like jesus driving out demons!

Both conservative and liberal Christians are wrong, there is no deity or man with super powers, but damn people, if you are going to cherry pick the bible, "If you cant afford health care, die quickly" would not be the NT Jesus I would want to buy into if I had a belief. The GOP wants to drag us back to the dark ages. At least liberals have some empathy.

Yeah, you have to cherry pick if you're going to keep your sanity, so why not just cherry pick the nice parts? Granted Jesus wasn't always nice and enlightened, but he said some good things now and then.