joke time

[Brian37]

catholic church dating policy

if you cant get one at 20 get two at 10

The Vatican sent out a directive to all it's churches worldwide in secret memos, "We do not authorize groin height windows in the confessionals at any OFFICIAL, level. Learn how to cover that shit up folks."

[The Valkyrie]

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I was once madly in love with a girl who ended our relationship to run off and become a milkmaid.  Sad but true - she left me for an udder.

Boru

[Brian37]

Two things I don't like about hyperbole.

1. What if you are not that tall?


2. What if you don't smoke pot?

[Haipule]

I like to do pole dancing yet, I'm just the pole. With my arms up high with my palms together, swaying my hips, I call that my North Pole. I can't show you my South Pole.

[Little lunch]

What's the difference between a joke and three cocks?

Your mother can't take a joke.

What's the difference between a legume and a chickpea?

I can't have a legume on my face for fifty bucks.

[vulcanlogician]

lol little lunch

[Haipule]

People ask me why I named my dick "Yogi Bear"? No reason Boo Boo!

[Darinda]

THE KINGDOM OF THAILAND:
 

In the original native culture of Thailand, when males reached the age of 18, they had to participate in the following community ceremony:

They lay themselves stark naked in a large circle, feet facing inward. A beautiful young  girl kneels over the ankles of each of the men. She places a blob of honey and various crushed sweet fruits around his navel to attract flies and insects. (This keeps them off his face during the ceremony.)

A specially chosen nubile and very beautiful girl then does a sexy and sensuous dance in the center of the circle.

As soon as all the men become fully aroused, the kneeling girls then reach over the knees, pull the erect penises downwards as much as they can and then, on a given signal from the center dancer, release them.

The men's penises would then spring back up and go "WHAP!" against their bellies.

This exercise was a measurement of the strength of their masculinity .... the man who killed the most flies was elected to the court of the King.
 
And that's how the current capital of Thailand came to be named Bangkok!
 

[Haipule]

People ask me why I named my dick after the gum "Big Red". It's from their jiggle:  "Give your mouth long lasting freshness with Big Red".