joke time

[Mr.Obvious]

How many catholics does it take to reduce the Vatican to rubble?

Depends on how hard your catapult can fling them.

[KittyAnn]

"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.

"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?". 

---

An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school.

"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

When my grandfather saw the Titanic, he told everybody that it was going to sink, but no one listened.  He told a few more people, then got kicked out of the cinema.

Boru

[Darinda]

A blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant seashell on her right inner thigh.
 
Her friends ask her why she would get such a tattoo and in that location.

She responds 'It's really cool. If you put your left ear up against it, you can smell the ocean.'

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Dad: 'Go to your room  this instant, young man!'

Child (storming off):  'All I said was that Jim Morrison is over rated...'

Dad:  'What have I told you about slamming The Doors?'

Boru

[Darinda]

Moderator Notice
image removed

Apple does it again

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed 
a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity
 music in women's breast implants.

 
The iTit  will cost between $499.00 and $699.00
 depending on speaker size.

 

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because
 women have always complained about men staring
 at their tits and not listening to them.
 

[Brian37]

Moderator Notice
image removed

Apple does it again

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed 
a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity
 music in women's breast implants.

 
The iTit  will cost between $499.00 and $699.00
 depending on speaker size.

 

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because
 women have always complained about men staring
 at their tits and not listening to them.
 

HEY, A LITTLE PRIVACY HERE FOLKS! Oh, glad I have my PC camera covered. 

[chimp3]

A joke from Dick Gregory back in the days:

"You know the definition of a Southern moderate? That's a cat that'll lynch you from a low tree."

[Darinda]

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway
when he notices a sign out of the corner of his  eye...
It reads:

SISTERS OF ST.. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES
He 
thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second 
thought.
Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES
Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and 
drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.. On 
the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to 
the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. 
FRANCIS
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door 
is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks,

'What may we do for you! my son?'

He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was 
interested in possibly doing business....'

'Very well my son. Please follow me.' 
He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite 
disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on 
this door.'

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup 
answers the door. This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go 
through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'

He puts $100 in 
the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut 
behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot 
facing another sign:
GO IN 
PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY
THE SISTERS OF ST. 
FRANCIS.

SERVES YOU RIGHT,
YOU SINNER

[The Valkyrie]

Man, I should check this thread more often.

sometimes it's funny here, huh?

---

Behind every successful woman there's a man checking out her arse.