porn and women

[Shell B]

That's not my experience, but hey.

[John V]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/...ationships

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There's a lot of information on this topic. It's not hard to find.

4 Ways Porn Use Causes Problems

Overall, they found that more frequent porn viewing was associated with lower sexual satisfaction.
...
When it comes to instructing viewers on sexual pleasure, porn is generally inaccurate and likely to lead to low quality sex and infrequent orgasm, especially for female partners
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Pornography use begets loneliness, and loneliness begets pornography use.
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The chance of divorce doubled for both men and women who started using porn after getting married.

[Shell B]

Again, I don't know what to tell you. That's never been the case for me. I've always been in long-term relationships. My first marriage ended because of abuse, not because of porn use, even though we both used it. I have no problem with the quality of sex or ability to orgasm. I'm not lonely. I don't know of anyone who has had those kinds of side effects. I wonder what kind of sample groups they used to get those results.

From your first source:

there is little research on the impact of pornography on the stability of long-term relationships (2017)

Also, I want to add that they talk about starting or increasing use of pornography after the relationship has begun. Could it be that people just use porn more when they're in shitty relationships? Hmmm.

[SaStrike]

I assume porn is targeted at single people. So bringing relationship stats doesn't mean much. If you're in a relationship and are watching porn everyday something doesn't seem right. The relationship is probably shaky to begin with. Therefore has a higher break up chance regardless of porn.

[John V]

Again, I don't know what to tell you. That's never been the case for me. I've always been in long-term relationships. My first marriage ended because of abuse, not because of porn use, even though we both used it. I have no problem with the quality of sex or ability to orgasm. I'm not lonely. I don't know of anyone who has had those kinds of side effects. I wonder what kind of sample groups they used to get those results.

Er, as human behavior rarely has the same effects in 100% of cases, you don't have to say anything at all.

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Also, I want to add that they talk about starting or increasing use of pornography after the relationship has begun. Could it be that people just use porn more when they're in shitty relationships? Hmmm.

That's probably true in some cases. Same with adultery. Either way, I'd say the better way to deal with a bad relationship is to work on the relationship.

[Shell B]

Yeah, I disagree. A bad relationship isn't worth the time. Life is too short to stay in something bad. Now, a good relationship having a rough patch is another story.

P.S. I don't think your stats are that accurate. As I pointed out, your sources admit to a lack of information.

[pocaracas]

What Porn Does To Intimacy

Is watching pornography really as benign as people think? The following three studies reveal that it has a greater effect on relationships than those we usually discuss.

1. Porn-free relationships are stronger, with a lower rate of infidelity.
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2. Watching porn diminishes relationship commitment.
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3. The fantasy alternative leads to real-world cheating.

Correlation does not imply causation.

1. If a relation is porn free, that is likely because both partners are satisfied with their sex life. Such satisfaction, obviously, leads to a decrease in infidelity.

2. With sexual dissatisfaction, relationship commitment diminishes... the watching of porn is also an effect.

3. I don't get it...

4 Ways Porn Use Causes Problems

(1)Overall, they found that more frequent porn viewing was associated with lower sexual satisfaction.
...
(2)When it comes to instructing viewers on sexual pleasure, porn is generally inaccurate and likely to lead to low quality sex and infrequent orgasm, especially for female partners
...
(3)Pornography use begets loneliness, and loneliness begets pornography use.
...
(4)The chance of divorce doubled for both men and women who started using porn after getting married.

(1) Again, correlation does not imply causation.... in this case, I'd say sexual dissatisfaction causes viewing of porn.
(2) Does anyone watch porn as a manual on lovemaking? If people do that, then I agree.
(3) Agree with the second part... the first... not so much.
(4) Again, correlation, yatta, blah, yatta... Why would those men and women start using porn after getting married?

[Angrboda]

The problem I see with those studies is that they all seem to be a case of post hoc ergo propter hoc. Are the differences in behavior between the porn users and the non-porn users a result of using porn, or just a correlation with other unrelated values? The studies don't answer that question, so your greater point falls flat.

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Women tend to want relationships with men. Men who watch porn a lot aren't learning how to be in such relationships. So, yeah, porn is bad for women. 

Men who watch porn perhaps aren't learning how to be in relationships while they are watching porn. But that isn't what you've claimed. You seem to be relying upon a conflation between what men are doing while watching porn and what they are doing outside of watching porn, leading to an essentially unsupported conclusion.

[John V]

P.S. I don't think your stats are that accurate. As I pointed out, your sources admit to a lack of information.

The stats are presumably accurate, but that doesn't mean they're conclusive. Correlation doesn't prove causation. But, prudent people quit smoking based on cancer correlations before causative agents were discovered. IMO men who use porn and haven't had relationship success might want to consider dropping the porn. It's not going to hurt anything, and it might help.

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Think about it, people. Human behavior is complex. There's no way you can prove that a guy isn't asking women out because porn is good enough and has made him lazy regarding relationships, or that his porn use has made him a bad lover. Correlations are frequently the best evidence you can obtain regarding human behavior. That's why scientists do correlation studies, and journals publish them.

[robvalue]

Of course porn doesn't teach people how to be in relationships. Why should it? It doesn't teach people how to fly a plane either, but I wouldn't say it's bad for airports. If someone is looking for relationship advice in porn, they have much more serious problems that have nothing to do with porn.

By the way, I'd suggest that using porn in secret could suggest a problem with a relationship. But I don't see how using it openly and honesty would suggest that at all. Not everyone has the same levels of sex drive, and people don't always feel like having sex at the same time.

I would bet that almost all men watch porn, even (especially ) those who deny it. Does it cause men to objectify women? I'd say no, and that I expect there's no evidence to back that up. There will always be men who have a poor view of women, and since almost all men watch porn, they will likely also watch porn. That doesn't tell you anything. If they select porn in which women are treated a certain way, that's no surprise, is it? Again, if people are looking for advice on how to view and treat women in porn, they have much bigger problems.

And yes, I watch porn. I'm happily married, and my wife is fully aware and has no problem with it.

Edit: A child may not realize that porn isn't supposed to represent real life, and that is the danger. Education is key. But if an adult still doesn't know that porn is essentially fictional, they are as misguided as someone who thinks other fictional shows are real.