Posts: 9912
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation:
79
RE: joke time
April 25, 2018 at 11:38 pm
After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.
As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:
“Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue. I’m on the train”.
“Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting”.
“No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss”.
“No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life”.
“Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart!”
Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.
When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, “Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed.”
Sue doesn’t use her cell phone in public any longer.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: joke time
April 26, 2018 at 3:08 am
quick oneliners... funny
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: joke time
April 26, 2018 at 4:13 am
(This post was last modified: April 26, 2018 at 5:37 am by ignoramus.)
My sister suffers from diabetes and hayfever so I sent her some flowers and chocolates to cheer her up.
:Milton Jones
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
May 1, 2018 at 1:48 pm
Got this one off of Facebook.
A Hispanic magician claims they can make themselves disappear on the count of three.
She says, "UNO, DOS......." BAMM! Suddenly gone without a Tres.
Below is what I added to the original joke.
Then David Copperfield said, "Amiga, just admit it was a trick."
Oh and I did change "Mexican to Hispanic" and the gender in my version.
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
May 1, 2018 at 3:53 pm
I just got arrested for indecent exposure. Yea the Museum staff weren't buying it when I said "If the statues can be nude, why cant I?" And all this time I thought the statues were symbols for clothing optional.
I am very pissed at the general contractor. Yea, I told him I wanted a brick house, but insisted I pay and that he did not have any Freemasons.
Posts: 187
Threads: 4
Joined: September 4, 2014
Reputation:
9
RE: joke time
May 2, 2018 at 1:23 am
So, I told my girlfriend that we had just driven past the Salón del Reino de los Testigos de Jehová (a local group of Jehovah's Witnesses.) Without missing a beat, she asked, "Do they sell tamales door to door?"
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: joke time
May 2, 2018 at 1:30 am
cheers.
[Jack, please explain the joke to us Aussies!]
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 187
Threads: 4
Joined: September 4, 2014
Reputation:
9
RE: joke time
May 2, 2018 at 1:39 am
Me?
Well, the Jehovah's Witnesses are always going door to door, and my gf is always interested in people selling good Mexican tamales. Thus the hopeful hypothesis that if the JWs are Hispanic, maybe they'll bring tamales instead of pamphlets.
