Worst (or Best) Pick Up Lines

[thesummerqueen]

About a year ago, just after I had met Adrian, I made a challenge over Facebook for him and another clever punster I know by the name of Spall to come up with pick up lines relating to their various vocations. So Adrian made up a bunch of cheesy lines having to do with math, and Spall with engineering. Or his alma mater.

I got:

"I wish I was your differential because then I'd be touching all your curves."

Also Adrian's commentary to someone disparaging their efforts: "If Mr Yarbrough wasn't so ignorant of math, he'd have seen the statistics confirming that math nerds get the best sex." - statistics - right.

Spall: "Anyway...I would have gone more for a calculus reference..."discovering the area under your curves". That one's free for the people."

For his college, Virginia Tech (the "hokies"): "I'd like to try out your fighting gobbler"

Engineering: "I can handle any task with my sliderule"

There were a bunch more in text form on my old phone.

So now...

What is the worst pick-up line you've heard/used - what was the best one - and can you make any up based on your professions or interests?

[Rev. Rye]

Well, when it comes to bad pickups, you can't do worse than Christian Weston Chandler (warning: nothing you find on him will be safe for work or your mental health.)

[thesummerqueen]

Unfortunately, I can't weigh in on any I've heard or had put on me because no one's tried to pick me up.

[Jackalope]

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

"Can you help me find my puppy?"

"Want some candy?"

The last two are Pedobear-approved.

[Cinjin]

Several years ago I had girl walk up to me, lick her finger and touch her own shoulder, lick the same finger again and touch my shoulder.

She than proceeded to say, "How bout you and me go somewhere and got out of these wet clothes."




Both amusing and sexually playful. Nice!

[Rayaan]

Muslim boy walks up to Muslim girl.

Boy: Are you a Sunni?
Girl: Yes, I am.
Boy: Good .... cuz I'm going to sun ni your number.

* (sun ni = soon need)

[Shell B]

Best: Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

Best pick up attempt ever in my life had no words, though. I think I may have told you this story, Summer. One day, I was going into a gas station. I looked over and there was a guy the same distance from the door as I was, about half way across the parking lot. He looked at me at the same time, smiled and sped up. I did the same. Eventually, we were both running for the door and laughing.

Worst: (This coming from a self-proclaimed "wizard" fifteen years my senior.) "I sense magic around you. I want to get to know you better and teach you how to tap into it." *shudders*

[thesummerqueen]

hahaha, I love the first - nice and to the point.

[Shell B]

hahaha, I love the first - nice and to the point.

I like it when people are forward. I can just give a yes or no answer. I hate it when it is a game. I don't want to be wooed. I want to hang out with someone who isn't trying too hard.

[thesummerqueen]

ah, see, me...I like to be courted. The game is half the fun.