Worst (or Best) Pick Up Lines

[thesummerqueen]

Gosh Dotard, I don't know how I'd resist your charms.

[Cinjin]

I'd love to pick you up, let me go get my forklift.

---

Or how about;

If you'd like to stroll down this country road with me I have my cattle-crosser covers in my truck.

Or

Let's make-love. I got an extra paper bag to put over my head in case yours tears.

wow.

I'm guessing you spend a lot of time with Jergen's Hand Lotion hmm?

[thesummerqueen]

Dotard's none too fond of women, Cin.

[Shell B]

Dotard is our resident women hater. He can't help that the only women he can charm are beasts. You have to respect his candor, though.

Good to see you around, ya bastard.

[thesummerqueen]

And he likes plants, so there has to be one green spot in that craggy heart.

[Shell B]

Oh, he'd be putty in the right woman's hands. Any man would and vice versa.

[thesummerqueen]

Oh for sure. He's just been sweetenin' his coffee with the wrong sugar.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

In his youth my little brother spent so much time sowing his wild oats he was rarely seen perpendicular.

He had one line; "would you like a fuck love?" I'm sure some of you can imagine the type of debutante on which that line worked, and the kind of establishment in which he was considered a bit of a sophisticate and charmer..


ME? Jealous as stink of course. If I tried that line, all I got was a drink poured over my head or a belt across the ear. I guess it's all in the delivery.

[downbeatplumb]

I told my wife I worked in the television industry when I met her.

It was true, I made up the cardboard boxes that they put the tvs in at the factory.

Darwinain was the one putting the tvs actually in the boxes.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

A long time before that I was chatting to a girl (and getting on quite well I thought) when another dude came up and said.
"I bet you ten pence I can make your tits move without touching them"
She said "ok"
he then said "here's your ten pence" gave her the money and went straight in with both hands.

They ended up married.

I bet they tell a different story to the kids.

[Violet]

Unfortunately, I can't weigh in on any I've heard or had put on me because no one's tried to pick me up.

That's because you don't hang around the right people (read: me).