Does positive masculinity exist? Men correct the woman.

[Losty]

I liked the original post before it got edited. I think it’s important to teach our sons positive ways to be masculine if being masculine is what they choose to be. It doesn’t mean it’s necesarrily only masculine, but the main one that comes to mind for me is protecting those who are smaller or weaker than you.

[Aroura]

I liked the original post before it got edited. I think it’s important to teach our sons positive ways to be masculine if being masculine is what they choose to be. It doesn’t mean it’s necesarrily only masculine, but the main one that comes to mind for me is protecting those who are smaller or weaker than you.

Thanks losty. Sorry I edited it. I wasn't enjoying the verbal sparring it started. I genuinely thought this would be a positive thread to balance out all the negative ones a bit.

[SaStrike]

Well, apparently this thread is retarded.  I retract my ideas about positive masculinity.

How old are you?

[Aroura]

Well, apparently this thread is retarded.  I retract my ideas about positive masculinity.

How old are you?

Passive aggression noted.

Look, I wanted a positive discussion. That's all.

---

I struggle, every day, to try and add something instead of hurting people. I struggle to interact at all because there is such a large volume of aggression out there and I react really poorly to it. I'm completely aware of that in myself. My choices are to keep trying out to give up.

There are days when I really, really want to give up. I mean permanently. It's hard for me to put myself out there on this forum, and in RL, and I swear every time I do, someone makes me regret it again.

I'd appreciate it if everyone just let my stupid thread die. I won't make the mistake again. Thank you.

[SaStrike]

How old are you?

Passive aggression noted.

Look, I wanted a positive discussion. That's all.

I just asked a question though. Next time have terms and conditions in the OP. *no questioning the OP *no opposing opinions etc. God damn 😜

---

How old are you?

Passive aggression noted.

Look, I wanted a positive discussion. That's all.

---

I struggle, every day, to try and add something instead of hurting people. I struggle to interact at all because there is such a large volume of aggression out there and I react really poorly to it. I'm completely aware of that in myself. My choices are to keep trying out to give up.

There are days when I really, really want to give up. I mean permanently. It's hard for me to put myself out there on this forum, and in RL, and I swear every time I do, someone makes me regret it again.

I'd appreciate it if everyone just let my stupid thread die. I won't make the mistake again. Thank you.

Ok, my bad. Feel better soon.

[Bob Kelso]

Well, apparently this thread is retarded.  I retract my ideas about positive masculinity.

How old are you?

I think we’ve all had moments of “thread regret”, no need to be shitty mate.

---

As for the question stated in the title, I think there are many examples of “positive masculinity”. Responsibility and reliability are headliners in my opinion.

The problem with female and male traits is that they’re largely subjective and that they can usually be applied to either outside of a traditionalist view. As for the traits themselves (like many things in life), they aren’t necessarily bad or good in and of themselves. To me, their quality is found through their form of expression. I think the toxicity for these traits, on both sides, largely comes from some ingrained societal expectations that curtail them.

[Mystic]

I think the Quran says in a verse:

Men are supposed to be up lifters/moral support regarding Woman, so any belittling woman and down playing them due to physical appearance of weakness counters the responsibility of men towards women.

The verse continues in that regard to say, if you do suspect or fear betrayal, just like another verse says most suspicions are evil and not to be payed attention to, says:

1. Don't speak to them (about it)
2. And leave them alone (regarding this) in their bed rooms as well 
3. And (continue) to have intercourse with them.

So a man who is insecure and tells the wife his doubts about her, will destroy her character and it almost becomes a fulfilling prophecy if you project your fear of betrayal on them.

This is the proper translation of the beat wife verse, and I testify to that with all my heart.

And so if a woman is obedient to God and protects the hidden as God has protected,  never should we ever project our fears on her, as that would degrade her.  This is true of all women, and the Quran shows in the Surah light, that even if the town begins to speak about a wife cheating on her husband, to not pay attention to rumours and ignore them, and rather only take them seriously if there is four witnesses who witness the act.

I suspect many statistics of cheating are based on false rumours and we are creating a notion of epidemic of cheating but it's more like people are causing others to separate through spreading rumours.

So I would say learning to not project one's insecurities and fears on a women, is a huge sign of masculinity.

[SaStrike]

How old are you?

I think we’ve all had moments of “thread regret”, no need to be shitty mate.

---

As for the question stated in the title, I think there are many examples of “positive masculinity”. Responsibility and reliability are headliners in my opinion.

The problem with female and male traits is that they’re largely subjective and that they can usually be applied to either outside of a traditionalist view. As for the traits themselves (like many things in life), they aren’t necessarily bad or good in and of themselves. To me, their quality is found through their form of expression. I think the toxicity for these traits, on both sides, largely comes from some ingrained societal expectations that curtail them.

Yeah I apologise, all that happened after my question so I took offence. But I assumed wrong, it wasn't just my question.

[brewer]

Aroura, if you can define "positive masculinity" I may have more to say.

I certainly meet and fulfill many (not all) of the masculine roles that my society has given me. Bread winner, cars, home maintenance, driving, opening doors, carrying the heavy stuff, picking up the check, defense from threats, grilling, killing spiders, putting down the pets, .....................

Some of you will say, yeah, but a woman can do all that stuff also. Fair enough. But understand this, my wife chooses not to perform any of these tasks. It's her expectation that these duties are required from me in the relationship, and I have no problem with that. She also has a list of tasks that she considers her feminine responsibility even though I could complete most of them also. 

I guess my point is that in a relationship, each partner will need to define the role(s) of the participants, be they masculine, feminine or neutral.

[The Grand Nudger]

@OP Q

OFC.

All of those traits we wish to develop in our sons, improve within ourselves, and seek out in friends.  Those traits that build a positive self image, and foster productive and fulfilling relationships with those around us.  Effectively, the man we want to be, or to be with.  

An itemized list would be expansive, and share vast overlap with positive femininity...though it's conceivable that a few items would make one list and not the other, or feature more prominently in one than the other.  It could even be the case that items on that list would be poor attributes to develop in females, or outside of the context of their utility, broadly and roundly condemned.

For example, I'd add a measured impulse to violence and it's consequences to my list.  Everybody needs a friend with a shovel and a bag of lime in the trunk.