Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 28, 2024, 9:48 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Add something absurd to any sports......

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Add something absurd to any sports......
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 46424
Threads: 541
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#11
RE: Add something absurd to any sports......
November 16, 2018 at 8:04 am
Polo:  The horses ride the players.

Football:  Three teams in every match, three nets, five balls in play at all times.

Tennis:  Use volley ball nets and golf balls.

Golf: Clubs may only be swung one-handed.

Basketball: No players over 5'5" tall.

Cricket:  Explosive wickets.

American football:  Give it a sensible fucking name.

Baseball: All players must wear two gloves.

Croquet:  Ban it for being a stupid bloody waste of time.

Rugby: No changes are recommended or indeed possible, as rugby is the most perfect sport ever to be devised by human ingenuity.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#12
RE: Add something absurd to any sports......
November 16, 2018 at 8:04 am (This post was last modified: November 16, 2018 at 8:07 am by Brian37.)
(November 16, 2018 at 7:48 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: Football: No time out can be more than one minute long.

Basketball: Anybody who dribbles on the floor has to clean it up.

Cricket:

Not sure what sport you are watching, but time requested by the team are only 30 seconds.  Injury and clock time outs are different. 

Basketball, no hoops.
(November 16, 2018 at 8:04 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Polo:  The horses ride the players.

Football:  Three teams in every match, three nets, five balls in play at all times.

Tennis:  Use volley ball nets and golf balls.

Golf: Clubs may only be swung one-handed.

Basketball: No players over 5'5" tall.

Cricket:  Explosive wickets.

American football:  Give it a sensible fucking name.

Baseball: All players must wear two gloves.

Croquet:  Ban it for being a stupid bloody waste of time.

Rugby: No changes are recommended or indeed possible, as rugby is the most perfect sport ever to be devised by human ingenuity.

Boru

Baseball, "Two gloves"....... LOVE IT, especially with the pitcher. They have to pitch wearing the glove.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
A. Secular Human Offline
Grand Poobah, Atheist Nerds of the U. S.
***
Religious Views: God who?
Posts: 1606
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation: 11
#13
RE: Add something absurd to any sports......
November 19, 2018 at 1:36 am
(November 16, 2018 at 7:48 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: Football: No time out can be more than one minute long.

Basketball: Anybody who dribbles on the floor has to clean it up.

Cricket:

The bowler has to skip-to-my-Lou before delivery.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35341
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#14
RE: Add something absurd to any sports......
November 19, 2018 at 1:41 am (This post was last modified: November 19, 2018 at 1:42 am by The Valkyrie.)
Hockey: razor sharp sticks and explosive balls.

Beach volleyball: fully armoured.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
Tiberius Offline
Question Everything.
*******
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 14932
Threads: 684
Joined: August 25, 2008
Reputation: 143
#15
RE: Add something absurd to any sports......
November 19, 2018 at 1:45 am
American Football: make it literal. No more passing or carrying the ball, you have to kick it on every play.
Find
Reply
Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
*****
Religious Views: Fuck It
Posts: 69247
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation: 259
#16
RE: Add something absurd to any sports......
November 19, 2018 at 1:47 am
..... sounds like the Jets.
Find
Reply
Astreja Offline
Loose Cannon of the Æsir
****
Religious Views: Agnostic atheist
Posts: 3146
Threads: 8
Joined: October 7, 2016
Reputation: 40
#17
RE: Add something absurd to any sports......
November 19, 2018 at 1:59 am
Trampoline basketball.

Baseball with water balloons.

Hockey with cupcakes.
Find
Reply
Draconic Aiur Offline
The Dragon in the Clockwork.
**
Religious Views: Agnostic Atheist
Posts: 426
Threads: 4
Joined: October 1, 2018
Reputation: 3
#18
RE: Add something absurd to any sports......
November 19, 2018 at 3:22 am
Every football player has to drink a gallon of milk before playing
[Image: latest?cb=20100721025111]
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#19
RE: Add something absurd to any sports......
November 19, 2018 at 10:12 am (This post was last modified: November 19, 2018 at 10:13 am by Brian37.)
(November 19, 2018 at 1:41 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Hockey: razor sharp sticks and explosive balls.

Beach volleyball: fully armoured.

HA HA HA...... These answers are getting South Park ridiculous...... KEEP EM COMING! Hilarious
Baseball, no bases, not even a home plate.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
Gawdzilla Sama Offline
Banana Hammer
*****
Religious Views: Rational
Posts: 19881
Threads: 324
Joined: July 31, 2016
Reputation: 34
#20
RE: Add something absurd to any sports......
November 19, 2018 at 10:16 am
(November 16, 2018 at 8:04 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Polo:  The horses ride the players.

Football:  Three teams in every match, three nets, five balls in play at all times.

Tennis:  Use volley ball nets and golf balls.

Golf: Clubs may only be swung one-handed.

Basketball: No players over 5'5" tall.

Cricket:  Explosive wickets.

American football:  Give it a sensible fucking name.

Baseball: All players must wear two gloves.

Croquet:  Ban it for being a stupid bloody waste of time.

Rugby: No changes are recommended or indeed possible, as rugby is the most perfect sport ever to be devised by human ingenuity.

Boru

ANY time-out. Including commercial breaks. And any time a team doesn't hike the ball within one minute possession changes.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Add something absurd to any sports......

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Transgender sports fan, w/ sense of humor. Brian37 1 558 June 1, 2024 at 5:44 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  And now for something completely different... The Valkyrie 2 632 July 29, 2022 at 3:55 am
Last Post: The Valkyrie
  A sports official escapes in Tennessee Brian37 0 378 June 2, 2021 at 9:59 am
Last Post: Brian37
  "2020 WAS" Add your descriptions here. Brian37 18 1354 January 1, 2021 at 1:56 pm
Last Post: Angrboda
  45's versions of famous quotes...add yours. Brian37 14 1436 September 3, 2019 at 6:38 am
Last Post: Brian37
  Add your suggestions for a "Reality/talent show" Brian37 33 4496 February 2, 2019 at 4:04 pm
Last Post: Fake Messiah
  Ancestry.com Tweet add I responded to. Brian37 0 465 April 11, 2018 at 9:53 am
Last Post: Brian37
  Oklahoma and sports humor. Brian37 0 339 September 24, 2017 at 1:59 pm
Last Post: Brian37
  There Is Something To This Idea Minimalist 23 2995 February 14, 2017 at 9:38 pm
Last Post: ignoramus
  Something I never understood in relation to Thespians? ignoramus 15 2188 July 21, 2016 at 5:21 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4



Users browsing this thread: 4 Guest(s)