Posts: 30681
Threads: 2120
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 12:37 pm
Just now, while paying my cell phone bill, the the call center guy asked me if there was anything else I could help him with.
Normally I get a chuckle when I respond, "Can you get me a date with Angelina Jolie?"
I got krickets from this guy. All the other times I got a laugh or sarcastic response.
Have you ever told a joke that works most of the time only to have it fall flat other times?
Add your joke here, and describe the few times someone looked at you with a third eye.
Posts: 19881
Threads: 324
Joined: July 31, 2016
Reputation:
34
RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 12:39 pm
"I'll have five Powerball tickets, and push the winner button this time, please."
Posts: 5970
Threads: 51
Joined: September 25, 2018
Reputation:
20
RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 12:44 pm
I often ask for the winning lotto numbers.
Posts: 9538
Threads: 410
Joined: October 3, 2018
Reputation:
17
RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 1:30 pm
At checkout -
Cashier: Would you like exact change?
Me: I sure would. It would be nice for a change to see that the public school sysyems ARE capable of success in education.
....
That usually freezes them in their tracks for a while....
Posts: 19881
Threads: 324
Joined: July 31, 2016
Reputation:
34
RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 2:14 pm
"Do you take cash with picture ID?"
Posts: 5599
Threads: 37
Joined: July 13, 2015
Reputation:
61
RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 2:24 pm
When patients call me a whore, I calmly tell them...
"Now, that's just untrue. I quit prostitution weeks ago."
They never laugh, but it usually stops their ranting dead in it's tracks.
Posts: 1316
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation:
11
RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 2:44 pm
(October 19, 2019 at 1:30 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: At checkout -
Cashier: Would you like exact change?
Me: I sure would. It would be nice for a change to see that the public school sysyems ARE capable of success in education.
....
That usually freezes them in their tracks for a while....
BTW, I taught Chemistry and Physics at a suburban public high school in So. CA for twenty years. Great, high achieving students, excellent teaching staff, wonderful administration and terrific and responsive school district. I am retired now, and have little fear for the future that they will control.
So there!
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Posts: 44500
Threads: 532
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 3:28 pm
A friend and I were in the dairy recently picking up a few things when a cop walked in. I immediately pointed at my mate and said, 'He's the one you want!'
The copper didn't smile, but I didn't get arrested either. So, all good.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 9538
Threads: 410
Joined: October 3, 2018
Reputation:
17
RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 4:04 pm
(October 19, 2019 at 2:44 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: (October 19, 2019 at 1:30 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: At checkout -
Cashier: Would you like exact change?
Me: I sure would. It would be nice for a change to see that the public school sysyems ARE capable of success in education.
....
That usually freezes them in their tracks for a while....
BTW, I taught Chemistry and Physics at a suburban public high school in So. CA for twenty years. Great, high achieving students, excellent teaching staff, wonderful administration and terrific and responsive school district. I am retired now, and have little fear for the future that they will control.
So there!
GIGO.
We have some real inbred mouth breathers around here these days...
Posts: 30681
Threads: 2120
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 4:18 pm
(October 19, 2019 at 3:28 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: A friend and I were in the dairy recently picking up a few things when a cop walked in. I immediately pointed at my mate and said, 'He's the one you want!'
The copper didn't smile, but I didn't get arrested either. So, all good.
Boru
It is funny you should mention that.
A few months ago, my regular cab driver dropped me off at the grocery store. I went in shopped for some time, came out and she told me I had to wait because she had locked the keys in the car. But the cab companies had a deal with the cops in the county if that happened to call them and they would break into the cars for free.
So I come out, she tells me she got locked out. Both of us have to wait, which was not a problem. So the cops show up. and break out the slim jim, go about getting in the car, and I make the comment, " Don't feel bad, I've done that before." And she, being a smart ass, says, "You've broken into a car before?"
|
