The right way to be and the wrong way to be

[The Valkyrie]

Is this whole thread just a justification for not bathing regularly?

On that note.  Nasa, in it's quest for the moon..back in the heyday, exhaustively researched and definitively answered this question.  

More than once every seventy two hours is a fetish.

I'll tell this to my patients.

[Belacqua]

Do you have an ideal set of behaviors/inclinations that you strive to perform/live up to? And what are some behaviors/inclinations that annoy you and indicate that the offending person is an inferior sort of person?

Excellent opening post! Thanks for posting it.

We spend so much time here talking about how other people are bad, it's nice to see a post that prompts me to think about how I might be better. 

(Everyone knows Thomas Nagel's famous paper "What is it Like to Be a Bat?" He posits that bats have an inner world of experience and response that is very different from that of a human. We can never really know what that inner world is like. I've often thought that someone should write a book "What is it Like to Be a Good Person?" Because I think that a genuinely good person would also have an inner life that is different from mine, and which I can never experience. It would be worth imagining what it would be like, though.) 

The "right" behaviors/inclinations, I think, would be having good taste in music, 

Here of course we have to be careful, because people often use "good taste" to just mean "the same taste as mine." But I think there is a solid case to be made that some music (and novels, and movies, etc.) has a negative influence in the world, and that good people will gravitate toward cultural productions which are more positive. 

Every song, poem, movie, etc., rests on an ideological foundation. It may not be obvious, but it's true. The listener absorbs the subtext of the song along with the entertainment value, so that it functions as propaganda. Someone with a head full of this propaganda will be less of a good person -- the contents of our brains is just what we are, and if the contents are pro-stupidity, pro-fascism, pro-cruelty, then that's what we are. 

So if that's what "good taste in music" means, then I agree that a good person will have good taste. 

eating food very quickly (I have better things to do than stuff food down my throat), 

This depends on the context, surely. If you have people waiting for you, then sure, keep up the pace. But some meals are meant to be enjoyed with friends at an unhurried speed. If the chef has worked hard to create something wonderful, then wolfing it down will be an insult to her and a missed opportunity for pleasure for oneself. 

knowing how to play an instrument (or multiple instruments), 

I'd say this falls under the general category of enriching our cultural understanding. Like to appreciate great athletes, it helps if you were once a so-so athlete. The same with music -- knowing a little bit about playing greatly improves our appreciation of those who do it well. 

not taking shit from anyone (if it can be helped), 

Yes, if this means just walking away. If it means that we take it as an excuse to give shit back, then I don't think so. Way too many people say "I'll treat you well unless you're an asshole, and then I'll be an asshole right back." It's way too easy to justify being an asshole. 

In fact not being an asshole is just a good thing. Other people don't control my behavior. 

cultivating a healthy sense of detachment from the things you love (you can be somewhat attached, just not to the point of being overly sentimental about things),

This is somewhat tricky for me, because in a way I think that loving something means that you are very much "attached" to it. 

But I agree that sentimentality is shallow. 

knowing when to give up, 

Absolutely. This is wisdom.

being a satisfactory sexual partner, 

Yes, because good qualities in bed are the same as good qualities out of bed: generosity, patience, creativity, empathy. 

condemning people who make loud noises, being comfortable with your natural unwashed self, etc.

People who intentionally make unnecessary loud noises are inconsiderate, self-centered, and thick-headed. 

I'd say there's nothing wrong with being a bit dirty until it gets to the point that it's similar to making a loud noise -- if it bugs the people around you then you're not being considerate enough. 

In general I'd add that a good person wants to put as little negativity into the world as he can. The ideal would be to leave positivity in one's wake.

[Belacqua]

Here's a definition I remembered (not original with me).

A good person is someone who gets pleasure from doing good things.

If someone does good things because he has to, because his mom makes him or he's afraid of being shamed or something, then he's not necessarily good. But someone who does good because he enjoys it is good.

And you don't have to think about grand gestures, like giving all your money to charity or something. Just: are you happier when you improve life for others?

I honestly don't understand the many many people who get pleasure from making other people feel bad.

[Ahriman]

Here's a definition I remembered (not original with me).

A good person is someone who gets pleasure from doing good things.

If someone does good things because he has to, because his mom makes him or he's afraid of being shamed or something, then he's not necessarily good. But someone who does good because he enjoys it is good.

And you don't have to think about grand gestures, like giving all your money to charity or something. Just: are you happier when you improve life for others?

I honestly don't understand the many many people who get pleasure from making other people feel bad.

It's more like a moral duty. Inferior people deserve to get called out.

[Belacqua]

It's more like a moral duty. Inferior people deserve to get called out.

I understand that a lot of people feel this way. 

I suppose it depends on what kind of outcome we can realistically expect. If calling someone out actually has a chance of improving that person, of helping him to understand his failings, then maybe I can see it. As with dentistry, sometimes a little initial pain is required to prevent worse pain in the long run.

But I am skeptical that this is a common motivation. I think that sadism is way more common. And people find ways of justifying it to themselves. 

I also think that most assessments are poorly done. I'm extremely aware of my own inferiorities, but I never get called out for those things on this forum. (Nor do I advertise them.) When people pass judgment on me here, the judgments are generally silly, and the insults mean nothing.

[onlinebiker]

You know who doesn' t need to bathe daily?

Dead people. Kept in a freezer.

....


Or live people who have a similar activity level.




But they still need to be kept in a freezer to keep from stinking the place up.

[Ahriman]

It's more like a moral duty. Inferior people deserve to get called out.

I understand that a lot of people feel this way. 

I suppose it depends on what kind of outcome we can realistically expect. If calling someone out actually has a chance of improving that person, of helping him to understand his failings, then maybe I can see it. As with dentistry, sometimes a little initial pain is required to prevent worse pain in the long run.

But I am skeptical that this is a common motivation. I think that sadism is way more common. And people find ways of justifying it to themselves. 

I also think that most assessments are poorly done. I'm extremely aware of my own inferiorities, but I never get called out for those things on this forum. (Nor do I advertise them.) When people pass judgment on me here, the judgments are generally silly, and the insults mean nothing.

Some people are just bad seeds, and calling them out is not for their own good, but for the good of society. Natural born criminals do not deserve to be free.

[onlinebiker]

I understand that a lot of people feel this way. 

I suppose it depends on what kind of outcome we can realistically expect. If calling someone out actually has a chance of improving that person, of helping him to understand his failings, then maybe I can see it. As with dentistry, sometimes a little initial pain is required to prevent worse pain in the long run.

But I am skeptical that this is a common motivation. I think that sadism is way more common. And people find ways of justifying it to themselves. 

I also think that most assessments are poorly done. I'm extremely aware of my own inferiorities, but I never get called out for those things on this forum. (Nor do I advertise them.) When people pass judgment on me here, the judgments are generally silly, and the insults mean nothing.

Some people are just bad seeds, and calling them out is not for their own good, but for the good of society. Natural born criminals do not deserve to be free.

^^^^^^^^^^^


My nominee for Stupidest Post of 2022


....

[tackattack]

Do you have an ideal set of behaviors/inclinations that you strive to perform/live up to? Yes, a plethora.


And what are some behaviors/inclinations that annoy you and indicate that the offending person is an inferior sort of person? Other people's flaws don't annoy me, unless they're family. Even then I don't consider it inferior. Perhaps ignorant, definitely different, but not mine to make,


On that note, it is true that ignorance is bliss, so dragging people out of their bliss to point out your pet peeves really doesn't seem effective, kind or helpful. I don't think I've ever won anyone over to my perspective with... "You know you're stupid because xyz" There's a world of difference between a straight shooter and a browbeater. You might want to cogitate on where you fall on that spectrum.

[Rev. Rye]

The right way to be is to treat people as well as you can. A persons taste in music is very subjective and changes over time, do you not think that good food should be enjoyed rather than being stuffed down your throat at high speed?

As someone whose music library is a quarter terabyte in size (and that’s with most of it at 128 kbps), I’d put “treating people well” several dozen places higher than having good taste in music.