Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 16, 2024, 2:43 am

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
joke time
RE: joke time
I've been clean for 47 days!!




Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink. “Is everything okay, pal?” the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she wasn’t going to talk to me for a month.”

Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know… a little peace and quiet?”

“Yeah. But today is the last day…”
Reply
RE: joke time
Me, "I'm here for the booze and the hookers!"


Her, "Ma'am, this is a library!"



Me (whispers), "I'm here for the booze and the hookers!"

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?




Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
“How would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”

While teaching a class a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:

“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”

Michael said: “Just a minute I have to go pee.”

The teacher responded by saying: “That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”

Sherman said: “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”

Johnny said: “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
Reply
RE: joke time
Little Billy runs home crying.

Mother, "Why are you crying, Billy?"

Billy, "The priest just washed out my mouth with soap!"

Mother, "Did you say a bad word?"

Billy, "No, he said it was to get rid of his DNA!"

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
Her, "I'm pregnant."

Him "Hi, pregnant. I'm dad!"

Her, "No, you're not."

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
Having a healthy sex life helps improve your memory.



Merry Christmas, everyone!

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
Dracula films are never rebooted, just revamped.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
‘If Donald Trump hadn’t inherited all that money from his father, what do you think he’d be doing now?’

‘25 to life.’

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2750 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18803 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4845 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 58 Guest(s)