The Last Movie You Watched

[Gwaithmir]

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project, the Reverend tries to power though his new case of COVID-19 and take on Deck the Halls.

• Oh, great, they've created an advent calendar devoted to the specific chores that they're supposed to do that day.
  
• You know, normally I wouldn't complain about women wearing this little clothing. Then again, their default seems to be logo-free Hooters style in a snowy December.
  
• These two twins? Are they what the Shining girls would grow up to be like if Grady didn't kill them?
  
• So, here's the big premise for the film: Danny DeVito's daughters have discovered that non-Google Earth is a thing, but that his new home doesn't appear there. Of course, maybe that house is so new that it didn't appear the last time the satellite went there. His solution? Add more goddam lights until his home can be seen from space.
  
• Dude, I literally have an ASD and even I don;t have this little grasp on the nuances of figurative language.
  
• I never expected to see Maeby Funke wearing a Christmas sweater with its own strap-on.
  
• Wow, that editing is so seamless. I can totally believe Matthew Broderick is riding a horse-drawn sleigh. He totally must be ready for the Iditarod. /sarcasm
  
  
  
• This imagery of Danny DeVito rubbing his nude body over Matthew Broderick makes me wonder: Maybe this would work better if it were an episode of It's Always Sunny. Maybe Frank spent 24 minutes hitting his head on the toilet and decided it would be a good idea to festoon Paddy's with enough lights that it can be seen from space. The rest of the gang resists for multiple reasons, like Dee realises this is going to be a disaster and maybe Dennis is annoyed with how much effort it would actually take to pull it off. And maybe it gets shut down by the cops before it can actually reach that point because it's causing car crashes.
  
• Why the fuck is that gas Pink?
  
• I've never watched this movie before, but after watching this Christmas tree carnage, I think I can safely say I've seen its sequel.
  
  
  
• Lesson learned: Drunk driving is bad, but you know what else is bad? Drunken car spotting.
  
• Did they devote an entire minute on a joke that the chief of police might be wearing a bra? Would it have been funnier if it was made 11 years later and the joke was he was wearing a Hatsune Miku binder?
  
• Wow. They left the control panel out in the open where it can be snowed on and potentially ruined.
  
• I don't know what those stringed instruments playing "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies" are (Balalaikas? Strumsticks? Ukuleles? Guitarlins a decade before Sufjan Stevens discovered them?), but somehow, I get the feeling that I want one.
  
• You know, maybe having the 15-year-old girls doing an extremely sexualised version of "Santa Baby" wasn't a good idea. Especially since they both loudly catcall their own daughters before they actually show their faces.
  
• Yep, this dumbassed vendetta has cost Danny DeVito his job.
  
• So, even all this shit can't make his home visible from space? Not even the low orbit of satellites designed to see homes like Google Earth? Christ, when Jaycee Dugard was found out, it turned out that Phillip Garrido stowed her in a tent in the backyard. And even that could be seen from Google Earth.
  
• So, now his lights have turned into a jumbotron, and he's willing to play Christmas carols on a loop at full blast until 4 AM?
  
• ... I don't think that you can return the electricity you stole from Matthew Broderick, Danny DeVito.
  
• What a happy ending, Danny Devito's house is finally visible from space, and now he has to deal with all the bills and all the criminal charges that will inevitably result from their shenanigans.
  
• To be fair, at least the version of "Up on the Housetop" in the ending credits is better than the one in Black Christmas 2019.
  

Next week, most likely it'll be Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

It’s A Wonderful Life, a masterpiece of a film whose only flaw is that the final scene wasn’t Mr. Potter’s lifeless body hanging from a lamppost in the town square.

Boru

[Mister Agenda]

I caught Violent Night yesterday. Home Alone meets Die Hard, with Santa Clause in the John McClane spot. Better than you'd think.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12003946/

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Bullet Train (2022). The Russian mastermind of the Japanese underworld tricks five world-class assassins into boarding a train in a complex plot to seek revenge for his murdered wife.

It’s a comedy. 8/10.

Boru

[awty]

Just watched 'Where the Crawdads Sing'.  

I listened to the audio book a couple of months ago and was pleased that the story stayed pretty true to the book.  I am not a big movie watcher but did enjoy this one.

[Angrboda]

Animal House.

[Gwaithmir]

[Angrboda]

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope.

[Gwaithmir]