The Story Corner
August 26, 2012 at 7:44 pm
(This post was last modified: August 26, 2012 at 7:54 pm by Reforged.)
Hello children. :-)
I have a story to share with you that I was recently reminded of by some people I met on the internet. As these people were of the tragically humourless variety I thought it best to keep it to myself and instead submit it for your pleasure. Why? Because you're all evil shits and I love you for it.
Our tale begins at a rather drab looking hospital where I have been convinced to talk to a social worker of questionable intellect. The conversation dragged on as she made generalizations about the autistic spectrum and condescending comments here and there until fatefully she mentioned something of vague interest.
She told me of someone else on the autistic spectrum who likes supermarkets alittle too much. He'd go to Tescos and stand infront of the magazine rack for as long as the shop was open and make a squeaky high pitched noises to show his approval of it. This obviously attracted odd looks from all around. Now children, I'll be honest. I almost burst out laughing. I could feel the faint flicker of a smile attempting to force its way across my lips which would inevitably open to unleash a roar of mirthful hilarity. I resisted and carried on completely straight faced and asked her;
"Oh right. Why doesn't he just buy one of those racks from the people who sell them to Tescos and install it in the comfort of his own home? Go nuts."
I will never forget her completely stoic and humourless response "No, it has to be in Tescos. Its part of the fantasy."
I have no idea how I waited to get out of that building before I burst out laughing. I really am sorry but that is one of the most hilariously surreal things I've ever heard. There is no doubt in my mind that if there is a hell I will be damned to it for this very reason but if something is funny then it is funny. I have no place to call it otherwise.
After five years thats the only part of the conversation I can remember and it still makes me laugh. I can't even remember how we got onto the subject of people making squeaky noises infront of magazine racks for reasons probably best left unknown nevermind how she attempted to bundle my extremely high functioning aspergers in with whatever he has but I'm glad she did.
The morale of the story?
I have a story to share with you that I was recently reminded of by some people I met on the internet. As these people were of the tragically humourless variety I thought it best to keep it to myself and instead submit it for your pleasure. Why? Because you're all evil shits and I love you for it.
Our tale begins at a rather drab looking hospital where I have been convinced to talk to a social worker of questionable intellect. The conversation dragged on as she made generalizations about the autistic spectrum and condescending comments here and there until fatefully she mentioned something of vague interest.
She told me of someone else on the autistic spectrum who likes supermarkets alittle too much. He'd go to Tescos and stand infront of the magazine rack for as long as the shop was open and make a squeaky high pitched noises to show his approval of it. This obviously attracted odd looks from all around. Now children, I'll be honest. I almost burst out laughing. I could feel the faint flicker of a smile attempting to force its way across my lips which would inevitably open to unleash a roar of mirthful hilarity. I resisted and carried on completely straight faced and asked her;
"Oh right. Why doesn't he just buy one of those racks from the people who sell them to Tescos and install it in the comfort of his own home? Go nuts."
I will never forget her completely stoic and humourless response "No, it has to be in Tescos. Its part of the fantasy."
I have no idea how I waited to get out of that building before I burst out laughing. I really am sorry but that is one of the most hilariously surreal things I've ever heard. There is no doubt in my mind that if there is a hell I will be damned to it for this very reason but if something is funny then it is funny. I have no place to call it otherwise.
After five years thats the only part of the conversation I can remember and it still makes me laugh. I can't even remember how we got onto the subject of people making squeaky noises infront of magazine racks for reasons probably best left unknown nevermind how she attempted to bundle my extremely high functioning aspergers in with whatever he has but I'm glad she did.
The morale of the story?
![[Image: tesco1.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_OmPCv2pC3Ow%2FS7S7PYIm4mI%2FAAAAAAAABeM%2FA9ubrnTotjs%2Fs1600%2Ftesco1.jpg)
"That is not dead which can eternal lie and with strange aeons even death may die."
- Abdul Alhazred.
- Abdul Alhazred.