How to tell parents I'm an atheist

[Fidel_Castronaut]

Hope whatever you chose to do works out for you, kid. I don't envy your situation.

[archangle]

I'm an atheist and my parents make me go to church. No one knows I'm an atheist but I've been wanting to tell my parents about it. But I'm afraid they'll be dissapointed in me. What do I do?

if they are reasonable, like mine were, tell them. I went to church sometimes anyway because if was for my mom, not me, and I love her.

Yeah, its silly, but then I just sat relaxed, fell a sleep and went home. And she didn't mind when I didn't go. Because she loved me back.


I was able to choose "not your god" because I was shown "their god". That was cool.
Thank you mom and dad.

[Manowar]

I'm an atheist and my parents make me go to church. No one knows I'm an atheist but I've been wanting to tell my parents about it. But I'm afraid they'll be dissapointed in me. What do I do?

Here is how you do it in simple steps.

Step 1. Compliment your parents "Mom, dad, i think you are the best parents on this Planet.

Step 2. Can't have enough compliments so continue. "Mom you look incredible today and Dad, you are a very handsome man, you both smell great by the way.

Step 3. Make sure they are both sitting down.

Step 4. Tell them. "Mom, dad i don't believe anymore, let it sink in a minute or two.
(They might have stunned looks on their faces). Continue to tell them. "That's right I am an Atheist."

If your dad starts to blame your mother or the other way around go back and repeat step 2 several times. If that does not work go directly to step 5.

Step 5. Yell out " I am Gay too, and run like hell.

They will be so shocked you are gay. A few hours later tell them you were kidding about the gay part, they will be so relieved you are not gay they won't care about the Atheist part. That should work.

manowar

[Alex K]

Here is how you do it in simple steps.

Step 1. Compliment your parents "Mom, dad, i think you are the best parents on this Planet.

At this point, the parents usually say: What did you do this time?!

[MJ the Skeptical]

Say something to break the ice maybe, for example...

"Everyone here who thinks I'm a believer, step forward"

When they try to step forward, hold your arm out forward and say..

"Not so fast"

[Silver]

I honestly never have been of the persuasion to keep anything from anyone when I felt it was necessary for my own peace of mind to reveal it. It is one of the reasons the public deems me antisocial, because I will not hold things back or be silent for the sake of tact. Also, it does not concern me how what I state will affect others, because that is all on them rather than on me.

I never understood one's concern for keeping something bottled up inside. It is unhealthy.

[Clueless Morgan]

I never understood one's concern for keeping something bottled up inside. It is unhealthy.

You know what's also unhealthy? Being 15 and getting kicked out of your house for being an atheist (or gay, or whatever else).

To the OP, try and figure out how your parents will react - try bringing the subject up in some non-threatening way to gage their reaction to the word atheism or a person who is atheist. Try openly reading a Richard Dawkins book that is more scientific than atheistic (one of his books on evolution like The Greatest Show on Earth - but NOT The God Delusion!) and when they ask you what you're reading tell them it's a book on evolution by an atheist - have you heard of him?

See if that starts a conversation about atheism or atheists and that should give you a good idea about their initial reaction to notion. If things look favorable or they don't go too ballistic, try reading another book that's by Dawkins, then openly read a book that pits creationism against evolution, then a book that's about the historicity of the bible (Like The Bible Unearthed, or one of Bart Ehrman's books about early Christianity). Basically, ease them into the idea that you're questioning what you've been raised to believe, and when they start getting uncomfortable you know you've hit their limit - and (BONUS!) you'll have read some really interesting books.

If you read that first Dawkins book and things escalate quickly or they have a bad reaction to you reading something by an open atheist, you'll know that telling them you're an atheist isn't the best option for you and that you should wait until you're financially independent of them, as hard and as frustrating as that might be for you.

As a previous post said, try and think of the most reasonable worst case scenario that could actually happen, and if that scenario is something you're willing to live with then tell them, but if not keep your mouth shut and tough it out. Don't do anything that will compromise your safety or your well being.

[Silver]

I understand the entire being a minor and being kicked out scenario, but it still does not change the advice I gave. They are not me, and I am not them, and that is good for everyone involved in how it relates to personal living.

Knowing that I could get kicked out of the house, would I still tell my parents. Without a doubt. I see it as a matter of unconditional love whereby one's parents are to love their children no matter what. If the parents are going to kick their kids out of their lives based on silly beliefs, then the parents are not worth having. The children are better off without parents like that.

[Minimalist]

How old are you? Do you live with them? Do they support you in any way? What do you hope to accomplish by telling them?

I'm 15

Get a copy of The God Delusion. Make sure they see you reading it.
While doing so, let them see you nod approvingly once in a while.

That should plant the seed. You don't have to grow the tree all at once.

[ShaMan]

Honor your mother and father - the best way to do that is to be honest about your feelings and who/what you see yourself as. Tell them that you are an atheist. Be extremely respectful of your parents (not necessarily their beliefs). Maintain your calm and assurance in your position - be confident and serene. Let your parents see a model of an atheist that destroys their preconceived ideas of what one is. You will be respectful, polite, calm, confident and above all you must show them love. DO NOT criticize their beliefs (It'll make things rough on your living situation). I bid you safe and light passage through this place in life.

One side note...

Go to church from time to time (unless it just completely SUCKS!). This may ease the sting to your folks (they may secretly pray that you'll come to Jesus, but this keeps them mindful of what matters - your best interests, albeit in a nonsensical fashion). Also, whenever I attend a church (a rare occasion) I use the opportunity to interject some truth into the conversations I inevitably end up having while attending the gatherings. I love indirectly challenging certain beliefs and leaving the people scratching their heads - my having just undone the pastor's self-serving message. Yes, church can be a great place to share the truth with people who desperately need to hear it and see it lived-out. Good luck.