How can you say "take responsibility for your life"?

[dimaniac]

If you live in a developed country

And what do 6 billion people from 3rd world countries have to do in such situation?

[DramaQueen]

It depends on the country, leaving al-raqqa is harder than leaving sevastopol

[bennyboy]

If you live in a developed country

And what do 6 billion people from 3rd world countries have to do in such situation?

I don't think there are any 3rd world countries in which citizens identify with heavy metal music. Maybe I'm wrong.

Anyway, I already outlined my method: you have to start with things you can control, and feel good about them. In my experience, depression is rooted in a sense of futility of action, rather than in specific external circumstances; it makes even getting out of bed seem pointless and impossibly hard. So getting out of bed, setting daily goals (even very small ones like taking out the garbage or doing the laundry), and then working diligently to achieve those goals, is the way to start getting some positive momentum going.

The other thing I'd say is to internalize your success criteria. If you judge your feelings of self-worth on whether you are getting laid, you probably won't. If you want to "just be yourself" and dress strangely, act strangely, and then expect people to love you for being a special little snowflake-- not gonna happen. If, however, you are willing to be honest and accepting of yourself, you can always find some little thing you can do to be an active participant in life and to feel better about it.

That's my experience. I sometimes succeeded in getting out of depression, and sometimes wallowed in it. In my case, the boredom of just lying in bed all day eventually got me to get dressed, get outside, and rejoin the world. But I know some people might never hit that threshold.

[Violet]

I meant it's better shoved in a choir boy

Mmm, perhaps... but falsetto fellatio doesn't work very well (because of the vocal muscles flexed, which are unavailable with one's gag reflex averted). The acoustics of a choir girl would better carry in a church.

After all, you've never heard anyone write a lyric like "whimper sensually to the lord", have you?

[Chas]

I suggested he get medical help. I'm sorry you can't see the relevance of that. He is a disturbed boy - his condition is beyond normal teen angst.

Have you followed the whole thread and all of the interactions?

Saying he needs medical help is the same as saying "dude. you're so fucked up it'd take a professional to help you." It's pretty rude. I don't think you would have said that if the post had come from someone else you didn't have a history with.
Yes I did read all of the posts, twice even to see if I was missing something.
There is obviously a lot of carry over from other threads and I think they should either be dealt with in PM's or in the original offending threads, as threads like this make our forum look like a bunch of hateful atheists who even attack each other without provocation. We can't assume that visitors would read every other thread in which the offender crapped.

You're welcome to your opinion.

[Brian37]

I am adopted. I never understood my behavior in context when I was young. My adoptive mom and dad were stern teacher and boys were never allowed to be sensitive and I was. I far too often internalized other people's baggage as being my fault and tried too hard to fit in. I was emotional and full of hormones and angst ridden.

I really did not understand until I met my biological family that my sensitivity and anxiety and depression ran in the family because I could see my behaviors in them.

Get professional help, not church shrinks or priests, they are there to prey off of your pain and give you a crutch to gain a recruit. It is important to know that having problems with how your brain functions is quite normal. But you simply do not let it go. You get professional help. You also accept yourself and don't let people get to you. It sounds hard when you are young, but when you get out on your own you get to chose who you hang out with and date or marry. That is when you get to surround yourself with positive people who will not try to make you a clone of them.

I am dirt poor, I have ups and downs in my life and everyone will have ups and downs. But you can get through those down times by having friends and support and help, it doesn't have to be just those in your house. It can be outside friends and online friends.

[Brakeman]

Oh. OK. Let's talk about rude:

.

.

.

.

... and these are just a few I randomly clicked on when I searched MLA's posts.

Yes, I had confidence that you weren't just being a jerk. I guessed right right away that there were probably other threads in which he was mis-behaving, but I either didn't read those threads or I didn't recognize his name. Never-the-less, to me or possible other outside viewers the responses looked harsh on this thread.
If you disagree with my appraisal of the thread, then I apologize, I am getting old and I'm not known for my understanding of nuance.
I did feel that I needed to point out how it appeared from an outsider's POV.

[MusicLovingAtheist]

How about you be a little more direct.

Imposing death and risk of suffering on your biological children without their consent is selfish and unethical. Please love your unborn children and don't procreate.

Telling someone to not procreate. That a hilariously assholish thing to say.

---

I thought mla was gay

I like guys.

---

Oh. OK. Let's talk about rude:

I hate muslims. Get out of my country you fucking towel heads go spread your word of the pedophile muhammed somewhere else.

They shouldn't have the right to not be exposed for the simpletons that they are.

Is anyone else sick of human garbage that wants to stomp out your interests and ideas? I see it all the time. People don't like the music you listen to, people don't like what you think. So they try to tell you that you are absolute garbage. They often think that they're in the right just because they are in the majority.

I hate these people.

Why can't people just fuck off and leave other people alone? What's ironic is people act like they're so fucking concerned about others. The irony is that they say the things they say to make the other person upset. If you were concerned about me then you would be nice. They're not fucking concerned about me though. People are stupid animals that operate mostly on emotions. I fucking hate how people can be such fucking pricks.

There's nothing I can do about it though. All I can do is try to force the most hateful thing I can think of back down their throats. In the society we live in we can't actually hurt each other because of all the red tape. If I lived in the wild or in the woods or something I would probably be either dead, or maimed the fucking shit out of tons of people. I can't stand this world that I live in right now. I just wish people would be kind. I'm so fucking sick of putting up with assholes. These types of people are fucking worse than garbage. They're fucking worse than a big sewer full of acrid shit.

I hate women. Emotional giggly pieces of shit. Immature pieces of dog crap that get on my nerves in every class I ever take. How I would love to hurt them. I hate men too, because they can hurt me.

... and these are just a few I randomly clicked on when I searched MLA's posts.

I don't hate muslims. I hate some women, not all women. I hate some men, not all men. That quote was from when I was pissed off in class. You know what annoys me? People who get to know me one on one often have a more friendly relationship with me and the people who just take a look at me from the outside without getting to know me mostly have this negative opinion of me. It is extremely frustrating and I feel so lonely and lost among all the droves of people who don't trust me and think I suck. I actually gave up on trying to gain acceptance from people around me. I used to really strive for it when I was young but I realized that it is extremely difficult.

I only said that about muslims because I was venting and they're just another religious group that annoys me. I dunno what that big quote you quoted me saying is. I often say things that I don't mean just because I'm mad and I want to say something. I constantly feel at odds with the people around me and since I often don't feel like there's anything at stake I will make decisions that I often regret.

[Whateverist]

Oh. OK. Let's talk about rude:

I hate muslims.

They shouldn't have the right to not be exposed for the simpletons that they are.

Is anyone else sick of human garbage that wants to stomp out your interests and ideas?

Why can't people just fuck off and leave other people alone?

People are stupid animals that operate mostly on emotions. I fucking hate how people can be such fucking pricks.

These types of people are fucking worse than garbage.

I hate women. Emotional giggly pieces of shit.

I hate men too, because they can hurt me.

... and these are just a few I randomly clicked on when I searched MLA's posts.

I see what you mean. No wonder he hates living .. he has to be him. That would just suck.

[bennyboy]

I think it's pretty obvious that MLA is trying to reach out here, despite the hostile language. It might feel good to answer hostility with hostility, but is there really any use in doing it?

MLA, look, I don't know what it's like to be you, but I've had some of the feelings you're talking about. I can say (20 years later mind you) that weakness is strength-- you don't have to lash out, you don't have to keep a stiff upper lip, you don't have to see it as you against the world. If you find people don't connect with you, it's probably a mirror effect-- because of your insecurities, you are having trouble looking other people in the eye, showing a sincere interest in them and their lives, and looking for commonalities to base friendships on.

I was lucky in college to discover that ALL people at that age are basically insecure. If you make eye contact, smile encouragingly (i.e. not trying to get them to like you but trying to make them feel liked) and LISTEN when people talk to you, you'll find people aren't as shallow and elitist as you think. They just act that way to defend themselves from people they don't understand.

Remember: hostility is almost always weakness, and kindness is almost always strength. Be kind.