Conflicted, Life Has No Inherent Meaning But I Want to Adopt One

[Jackalope]

Snow...white girl, candy cane, gutter glitter, yayo....coke...cocaine man...cocaine (christ, no wonder you're depressed). If you had some..you wouldn't -need- any money for hookers.

But wait... If he's got no money for hookers, he's got no money for blow.

[LastPoet]

But wait... If he's got no money for hookers, he's got no money for blow.

So, zeroing in on the problem, he needs money for hookers and blow. We are getting to a priority system here.

[Lek]

Sounds like you're suffering from a serious case of clinical depression. Obviously you're tried anti-depressants and have even been the hospital. The hospital stays have probably led to counselling. Unfortunately, there's a limit to what modern medicine can do to help you with your problem. Things that work for some don't work for others. If you've never suffered from clinical depression or an anxiety, what I'm going to say might make no sense to you., but you have you might get it. Never give up trying to find a way to overcome your situation, but there is also benefit to be had from recognizing and accepting that you have a problem with depression. With that in mind, try to face life situations the way you know you should rather than the way you feel at the time. Today you may feel like life is not worth living, but try to lock that felling in a box and rather [/b]act[b] in the way that you know is the right way to go even if it is counter to your feelings. This may be seem to be a simplistic analogy for a serious problem, but it's kind of similar to being a diabetic and dying for a candy bar. You know that you shouldn't eat the candy bar, but it's in your nature to want it. You realize that it would be better not to eat it, so even though your feelings tell you to eat it, you follow common sense and don't. If you know that your depression is giving you an unreal view of life, then purposely act counter to it. You're young and have a long life ahead of you, so you can make changes. Don't give up. I wish you the best.

[Mudhammam]

"Men seek rest in a struggle against difficulties; and when they have conquered these, rest becomes insufferable.” - Blaise Pascal, Pensees

“The struggle alone pleases us, not the victory.” - Ibid.

"Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body." - Ecclesiastes 12:12

The struggle never ends, but the struggle provides the purpose.

[dyresand]

My own personal life meaning. i enjoy video games it helped me more than religion has. i love learning and i love math and c++ coding
there is video game ideas i have and i like making people happy and enjoy what ever programs i do make. my meaning to life code video games
and make people happy and continue to pursuit knowledge and a greater understanding of the world, galaxy, and universe we live in.

[LivingNumbers6.626]

So I am pretty fixed in my disbelief. I don't hate the idea of a "god" but I hate what religion and people do to it. But in the end...the god question is pretty meaningless.

I used to derive meaning and purpose from being mormon. And though I was sometimes a fake believer, the delusion was empowering. Losing all that conflicts things.

There may be no real meaning or purpose...but there was be a way to feel empowered as an american atheist and regain a sense of stability and find happiness.

What is happiness? What am I? Why am I always depressed? What will make me happy? It appears almost as if nothing has the answer, nor does medical treatment.

Have you ever read the book of Ecclesiastes from the bible? It addresses you situation rather directly.

Sigh

---

Sounds like you're suffering from a serious case of clinical depression. Obviously you're tried anti-depressants and have even been the hospital. The hospital stays have probably led to counselling. Unfortunately, there's a limit to what modern medicine can do to help you with your problem. Things that work for some don't work for others. If you've never suffered from clinical depression or an anxiety, what I'm going to say might make no sense to you., but you have you might get it. Never give up trying to find a way to overcome your situation, but there is also benefit to be had from recognizing and accepting that you have a problem with depression. With that in mind, try to face life situations the way you know you should rather than the way you feel at the time. Today you may feel like life is not worth living, but try to lock that felling in a box and rather [/b]act[b] in the way that you know is the right way to go even if it is counter to your feelings. This may be seem to be a simplistic analogy for a serious problem, but it's kind of similar to being a diabetic and dying for a candy bar. You know that you shouldn't eat the candy bar, but it's in your nature to want it. You realize that it would be better not to eat it, so even though your feelings tell you to eat it, you follow common sense and don't. If you know that your depression is giving you an unreal view of life, then purposely act counter to it. You're young and have a long life ahead of you, so you can make changes. Don't give up. I wish you the best.

Thank you. I appreciate the advice and being diabetic as well leads me to absolutely understand what you are getting at.

[KevinM1]

2) I love to write, read, and play piano. But it's like a drug. Good in the moment, but eventually tomorrow I am wallowing in my own self pity and hatred.

I'm really curious about this. Why does expressing yourself lead to these kinds of emotions?

Beyond that, I think you're looking at things too narrowly. You're looking for the thing that will give your life meaning. IMO, that's impossible. Life isn't just about focusing on one thing. It's part profession, part hobby(/ies), part personal relationships, part politics, part philosophy, part community service, etc. We are all a tapestry of thoughts and experiences and gains and losses.

In a lot of ways, the journey is the answer. Striving to do something, to be someone yields its own rewards. And you won't know what (and/or whom) truly makes you happy until you try your hand at everything you can think of. If you're curious about school, try it (making sure you can pay for it, first)! If you think self-expression could be your thing, practice, go to workshops or devoted training/teachers!

There's no downside to trying things. And it's useless to attempt to predict if something will make you happy. You need to get into the moment, and decide based on the experience itself. So, be open to new experiences and try things out.

So, yeah, be patient. Hardly anyone rolls out of bed one morning, makes a declaration of what their life will be, and then makes it happen. The vast majority operate with fits and starts, and a whole heap of failures with successes sprinkled in.

[Mudhammam]

Now remember Quantum, you get one chance at this. Choose carefully.

[Heywood]

Plug into your hard wired happiness.

part 1.





part 2.

[FatAndFaithless]

Is that a weird euphemism for masturbation, heywood? 'Cause I'm already all about that.