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RE: Menstruation, Turtles and Pigeons
February 11, 2015 at 10:55 pm
(February 11, 2015 at 6:46 am)TubbyTubby Wrote: Leviticus 15:29 KJV
"And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation."
Been discussing this particular bible bull with a colleague recently. How was this chapter supposed to apply in real life, when it mentions 'a woman' does that mean every woman or just a select few. Ignoring the overall sheer stupidity of the chapter, I was curious if they had mass turtle and pigeon breeding facilities just to keep up with the priests sacrificial requirement?
And what is the relevance of turtles and pigeons? Did they have loads of pigeons but then after realising they were running out, pick another creature at random. "What about them turtles, shall we use them?", "Yeh why not, no fucking use for anything else".
It really makes you wonder how the book writers originally came up with these fucked up ideas.
Perhaps Drich and GC can shed some light.
GC couldn't shed light if he was a star . . .
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
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RE: Menstruation, Turtles and Pigeons
February 12, 2015 at 12:04 am
(February 11, 2015 at 10:55 pm)Beccs Wrote: GC couldn't shed light if he was a star . . .
So does this mean he has collapsed in on himself and turned into a black hole?? 
Atheism is a non-prophet organization join today.
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RE: Menstruation, Turtles and Pigeons
February 12, 2015 at 6:22 am
I've learnt something from this thread, maybe we could have a 'stupid scripture of the day' thread.
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RE: Menstruation, Turtles and Pigeons
February 12, 2015 at 7:17 am
(This post was last modified: February 12, 2015 at 7:20 am by robvalue.)
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RE: Menstruation, Turtles and Pigeons
February 12, 2015 at 7:38 am
(This post was last modified: February 12, 2015 at 7:38 am by TubbyTubby.)
(February 12, 2015 at 7:17 am)robvalue Wrote: Are you thinking along these lines:
http://youtu.be/kmFzSl7dmuc
http://youtu.be/ffg8fYfXsEk I'm at work now but I'll check those out later.
Not having really read much of the bible I thought I ought to take a bit of a look and it's amazing!
Christian (by indoctrination only I think) lad at work is giving me some pointers. Deuteronomy is just fucked up all over..
Deuteronomy 23:1-2 KJV
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord . A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord ; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord .
What the fuck! I need to read more of this shit.
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RE: Menstruation, Turtles and Pigeons
February 12, 2015 at 7:49 am
(This post was last modified: February 12, 2015 at 8:07 am by Homeless Nutter.)
(February 12, 2015 at 7:38 am)TubbyTubby Wrote: [...]
What the fuck! I need to read more of this shit.
Yup. Nothing turns people into atheists and anti-theists, like reading the "word of god". No wonder Catholics used to torture and kill people, for translating the Bible into other languages than Latin. And Muslims claim Quran is only true "word of god" in Arabic. Too bad religious people really don't like reading...
Good example of stupidity of Jesus: the son of god - who allegedly created and knows everything - is pissed off at a tree, for not having fruit off-season...
Mark 11:12-14(NIV)
12 The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. 13 Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. 14 Then he said to the tree, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again.” And his disciples heard him say it.
Matthew 21:18-21(NIV)
18 Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. 19 Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered.
20 When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. “How did the fig tree wither so quickly?” they asked.
21 Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.
Then why the fuck didn't you pray for figs, instead of cursing the tree, dumbass? Are you not hungry anymore, now that the tree is dead?
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." - George Bernard Shaw
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RE: Menstruation, Turtles and Pigeons
February 12, 2015 at 8:12 am
(This post was last modified: February 12, 2015 at 8:16 am by robvalue.)
The old testament is absolutely hilarious. I highly doubt any christian in this forum has ever sat down and read it all through. If anyone with even one remaining working brain cell does this, the sheer magnitude of stupidity and evil protrayed by "God" is clear to see. The only justification he needs is that he's in charge, so there. In other words, christians are bowing down to a tyrant. The fact that it's an imaginary one is even more sad.
The OT (optional testament) tends to jump around between three main themes:
1) Ridiculous magic
2) Horrific brutal acts
3) Incredibly tedious lists
And of course, 1 and 2 are very often combined as God slaughters his followers personally.
For those who haven't heard of its I highly recommend this video series. It goes through the Old Testament, the whole thing, missing out only the incredibly tedious bits (type 3 above). They cover all the juicy bits, and they mock it to pieces. It's side split splittingly funny. They are up to episode 68 or so now and are getting through it, then they'll move on to the NT. Check it out! 
http://youtu.be/ZQ8tMApaEK0
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RE: Menstruation, Turtles and Pigeons
February 12, 2015 at 8:58 am
Going to have to check that out when I get off work. Thanks for sharing.
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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Menstruation, Turtles and Pigeons
February 12, 2015 at 9:24 am
So what's the score with your average christian then, do they just dismiss the OT as babble and just read the NT? Nobody actually still takes that stuff seriously do they?
I think I already know the answer and it scares me.
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RE: Menstruation, Turtles and Pigeons
February 12, 2015 at 10:13 am
(This post was last modified: February 12, 2015 at 10:23 am by Homeless Nutter.)
(February 12, 2015 at 9:24 am)TubbyTubby Wrote: So what's the score with your average christian then, do they just dismiss the OT as babble and just read the NT? Nobody actually still takes that stuff seriously do they?
I think I already know the answer and it scares me.
I'd wager that average christian has never even attempted to read any part of the Bible. Not even the NT. They rely on priests and preachers, to give them the broad strokes, as well as cherry-pick verses, that suit the ideology of their particular congregation.
If you have a Bible handy - and with some knowledge of its contents - you can reduce many christians to tears...
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." - George Bernard Shaw
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