Going Back & Finding Nothing There

[WastedLife]

Hey,

Has anyone who has lost their belief gone back to church, temple, whatever and found that not only is there nothing there anymore but it's as if your eyes have been opened wide and you see everything as it is rather than through the religion-tinted specs you wore when you regularly attended.

I looked around me at all these horrible people. I chatted with those I always used to seek out when I attended and they were cold, critical and above all, totally without humor. I couldn't stand to be with them and couldn't wait to leave.

I lost my belief overnight. The scales on my eyes simply fell away. I'm lucky I guess because for many it's a long drawn out process though in hindsight I can see the beginnings of doubt from as much as 15 years ago however the actual realization was immediate.

When I left the church no one contacted me at all. They had my contact details, email address, postal address and phone number. I attended religiously (pun intended), several times a week and as much as 20 times a month what with all the different services, prayer sessions, healing groups. Not one person inquired as to how I was and yet when I wandered back in they walked over as if we were old friends. I just saw them as they are, nasty people in a big social club for those who hear voices.

I'm glad I went back as I needed to know if there were any vestiges of my old faith. There wasn't anything at all.

WL.

[404NotFound]

Welcome aboard. I had a similar experience when I again stepped into a church. Twenty-odd years ago an old girl friend wanted to go to a midnight Christmas Eve Mass. For the prior fifteen years the only time I attended church were for weddings and funerals, two institutions that I see has huge rackets. During the Christmas service I looked around and realized what a cabal religion was. The rituals that in my youth I took seriously, appeared comical and down right ridiculous. Who in a rational state can watch a man in a funny costume chanting and burning incense and take what he's doing seriously. That's the moment I knew I was a 'heathen.'

I would consider myself lucky that no one has tried to contact you. If you look at the other side of the coin, they could be applying the full-court press to lure you back into the fold. Obviously they don't take the soul saving business as seriously as the Mormons. I say this because it took my wife seven years to excommunicate herself from the temple of Smith and Young.

It can be disheartening that people you believed in let you down, but, that cuts across all folds and has nothing do to with religion. People are generally pricks, and if you snub their believes or feelings, they can take it personally.

Anyway, congrats on having the courage to break away from the indoctrination and follow your heart/brain.

[WastedLife]

It can be disheartening that people you believed in let you down, but, that cuts across all folds and has nothing do to with religion. People are generally pricks, and if you snub their believes or feelings, they can take it personally.

Hahahaha very true

Hey 404, thanks for the reply.

Very cliquey types in religion, it's a cabal for sure.

[Crossless2.0]

My solution is to avoid church except for weddings and funerals. There's always something better to do.

[robvalue]

Heya WL

It's really sad that all those people lost interest in you as soon as you stopped sharing their delusion. The idea that christianity makes good people really is a tired myth.

I hope you can make lots of new friends who like you for who you are.

[Alex K]

I had a similar experience as 404, stepping into a service after many years of absence, I was surprised how little substance there really was when viewed with fresh eyes.

I'm sorry that these people were so uncaring. But unsurprising...

[One Above All]

I tried stepping back into church. When the statues started crying blood and crucifixes spontaneously combusted, I told my mom "I'll wait outside".

In all seriousness, I did step back to accompany my mom, though I told her I'd never do it again. Made me sick.

[DeistPaladin]

Having the good fortune to be raised by atheist parents, I can only speculate. That said, I can surmise that the last thing any believer wants is to be around an ex-believer. If their own belief hangs by a thread, the last thing they would want is to be around someone they fear becoming more like. As they deny reality, they can be expected to deny anyone who reminds them of it.

I remember when I was doing research into the book I was writing at the time and visited a Christian book store. I had this feeling as if I had walked into a mental asylum, only the inmates were in charge. It just amazes me how anyone could ever have believed any of this stuff, never mind in today's age when we've discovered so much that was once a mystery.

[TubbyTubby]

I had this feeling as if I had walked into a mental asylum, only the inmates were in charge. It just amazes me how anyone could ever have believed any of this stuff, never mind in today's age when we've discovered so much that was once a mystery.

Welcome 'wastedlife', I was raised without belief unlike yourself and I identify with the above post by Paladin. During our early months together, my wife asked me to go with her to church a couple of times so I went along with an open mind (it was my first time after all).

I found the whole thing just creepy really, the congregation seemed like zombies to me. There just wasn't the sense of questioning, thinking or spontaneity in their eyes like I am drawn to in the people I associate with socially.

Their eyes just seemed dead and their smiles were like those in a mental asylum. Just writing it down now makes me shiver a little. My wife thankfully kicked it into touch and her belief along with it after spending more time with the evil heathen that I am.

[abaris]

I haven't been to church since my mother's funeral six years ago. But the church my parents went to (Catholic) didn't have such an assembly of zombies. These were nice people and when I meet some of them on the streets, we usually talk for a good while. Religion doesn't come into such conversations.