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Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
Well, I've been here more than 30 days, so I think I qualify to join that section of the forum now, right?

Beccs, we should get right on that Big Grin

Never mind... it's 60 days. Well damn.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand. 
(November 14, 2018 at 8:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Have a good day at work.  If we ever meet in a professional setting, let me answer your question now.  Yes, I DO want fries with that.
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
People shouldn't encourage me to be bad.

Once I start . . .

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
Ha ha ha... I'm encouraging you to be bad.

Now...

Be bad!
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand. 
(November 14, 2018 at 8:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Have a good day at work.  If we ever meet in a professional setting, let me answer your question now.  Yes, I DO want fries with that.
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
[Image: header.bmp]

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
I love Jessica Rabbit.
[Image: Untitled2_zpswaosccbr.png]
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(April 21, 2015 at 10:27 pm)Judi Lynn Wrote: Damn... I wish someone would call me Peach. Or strawberry. That's fine too.

Peach. Or strawberry.

Now your life is complete.  Love
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
I think peach is the highest compliment you can give a girl, fruit-wise. It carries both a bewbies and a derriere reference. That's good enough for me.
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
LOL Deidre that was good! My life IS complete now Big Grin
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand. 
(November 14, 2018 at 8:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Have a good day at work.  If we ever meet in a professional setting, let me answer your question now.  Yes, I DO want fries with that.
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
Deirdre: I've never actually met a deist in real life, at least not one that identifies as such and has given a decent amount of thought to it. So it's a bit hard for me to judge exactly how that would pan out in a relationship. Like you say, it's not going to be the deism that causes the problem, but what kind of thinking patterns the person has. I don't expect my partner to be woo-free, but I couldn't deal with someone who regularly makes it an issue and brings it in to everything. That's just a personal thing; it would get to me too much, and it's not fair on them, because I'd end up with "Bullshit, bullshit" on a loop in my brain during conversations that get wooey.
Feel free to send me a private message.
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
(April 20, 2015 at 3:13 pm)Beccs Wrote:
(April 20, 2015 at 5:29 am)Godslayer Wrote: And it's his choice to whether he wants to be with a promiscuous girl or not and you shouldn't shame him for that either, don't be a hypocrite.
But I see there are many hypocrites with you who thumbed up your post.
So one of the first things you do is come on and name call everyone who agrees with Rexbecca?
The arrogance in that assessment is ridiculous.
Let me ask: When you meet a girl do you immediately ask her what level of sexual experience she has?

They are being hypocrites, what's wrong with pointing out when people are being hypocrites? For me, I do tend to ask and if not, they tend to ask me, along with all the other personal questions you may ask a date. I mean, the OP is fairly tame and did not deserve nearly the amount scrutiny it got, it's insane. I don't necessarily agree with his trepidation, but I can at least respect his opinions, unlike the hoard of feminists here actually shaming him instead of him shaming her, go ahead and re-read his OP again real quick. He didn't shame her and everyone who thumbed up rebecxa's post is a hypocrite for advocating the behavior they are condemning, but what can I expect from 3rd wave feminism, it's completely dogmatic.


(April 20, 2015 at 3:16 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote:
(April 20, 2015 at 3:08 pm)DeistPaladin Wrote: And I think that last point speaks to another reason why he's being called out. There could well be a double standard at work here. I'm not saying I've done everything on the list offered in the OP but I check off quite a few of the boxes. I'd have been devastated if my now wife had broken it off with me just because I had a life before her. If our gender roles had been reversed, would I have been in greater danger of being dumped?
Now that I reflect on it, and I'm just musing as I type, there was one previous girlfriend that expressed some concern over my past but it was nothing that couldn't be overcome with some reassurance. And no, we didn't end up breaking up over that but another issue. Women worry about issues of fidelity too, so some "concern" is understandable either way. 
Maybe if you (I'm speaking to the OP here) just talked as honestly about what to expect from each other going forward. If you need a committed, monogamous partner, just say so. 
Our society also has a double-standard applied to men as well. While women are subjected to "slut shaming", men are made to feel like their garbage if they're not sexually active or if they don't have an impressive sexual resume. If she's had a history that makes you (the OP) feel envious, it might help to be consciously aware that this is a problem of irrational insecurity for you to work on. Being honest with yourself and her might help you through this. 
The whole point of castigating the OP was the attitude towards her. I've a fairly good feeling that if someone had come on here complaining that her boyfriend didn't have any prior experience, she'd get the same treatment - that is to say, "um, hello, maybe start talking to them about it if it's that important to you?" The people on this forum are, in general, good people who think you should at least make a passable attempt at treating your partners with respect and honesty, double standards be damned.

The whole point of her post was to shame the OP for having his preference. He was pretty respectful in his OP and was attacked by some obvious feminist for simply sharing his story and wanting advice.

"It's her past, and her business".. So what? I don't expect 100% privacy from an ex on a forum. if he doesn't like her past who the fuck are you people to judge? this argument of complete discretion is garbage.

"The fact that she trusted you enough to tell you those things"... Again, so the fuck what? so, she should just be granted total privacy even though she is an anonymously written person in a random thread that we have no idea is real or fake. And who is to say he didn't respect her just because he told his story about her? If I tell a story about my crazy Anti-vaxer mom, does that mean I violated her trust and respect to a bunch of strangers because I wanted to talk about it? no, it's fucking asinine.

"Then you turn around and join a discussion forum just to slut-shame her"...No, stop, he didn't slut shame her, he found out some things about her and wasn't comfortable and was shamed FOR it, this is hypocrisy at it's highest.

"Tells me all I need to know. Dump her"...If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to respect it, he doesn't need your approval, he asked for advice, not an actual shaming. The only ones shaming anyone are you people.


(April 21, 2015 at 12:30 am)Kitty Galore Wrote:
(April 20, 2015 at 2:37 pm)Godslayer Wrote: What does a different thread have to do with this one? but thanks for exploiting my anxiety issues from another thread, douche alert...
1) I agree, but why can't he have his preference?
2) Sometimes this stuff never comes up, ya know? And if this is a troll post, then who cares right? if it's fake it's fake.
3) Comparing sexual consent to speaking about your relationships is a slippery slope, at worst...
4) I don't align with them, I just happen to think he should have his preferences without prejudice, like you people are saying about the girl how she should be able to fuck who she wants to, which I agree with, but you should also agree that he should have the right to not like that, even if it was never discussed. You can argue whether he should tell his story but if a girl tells the exact same story are you just as outraged? try and pretend you would be, cmon...
 #2  If you are in more than a casual relationship this stuff should come up, especially if it is so important to a person that they can't get over it. It isn't rocket science. It is common sense. 

I agree with you there if it mattered to him he probably should have asked earlier, but it's not like women or men will just their you their past. Especially if they may be ashamed or think their partner might not like it, we don't know their situation. But he shouldn't be shamed for just finding out about it any making such an innocuous post. The accusations of slut-shaming against him are so laughably stupid, I had to re-read it 3 times just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. The only one shaming anyone were the people responding to him.


(April 19, 2015 at 3:39 pm)rexbeccarox Wrote: I got tons of kudos... 
"It's her past, and her business.  The fact that she trusted you enough to tell you those things, then you turn around and join a discussion forum just to slut-shame her tells me all I need to know.  Dump her.  She doesn't deserve your revulsion."
is shaming the OP?  I only stated three facts and two opinions, none of which insult or shame anyone.  The fact that some think they do tells me a lot too.

The only reason the kudos were brought up is because of the hypocrisy of yourself and of those people shaming someone when he was not shaming anyone at all. Duhhhh

That fact that you don't see the actual shaming in your post instead of the other way around in his OP, tells me way more about you...
If the hypothetical idea of an afterlife means more to you than the objectively true reality we all share, then you deserve no respect.
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