Stupid, selfish prayer requests

[Aroura]

I did a search and didn't see a recent topic about anything like this.  I don't use FB often, but have been "forced" to more often lately because my GS troop uses it to communicate.  So I hopped on there today to check our troop page, and my feed has this on it (from a very old friend):




How dumb is that?  I sort of understand asking for prayers for a sick relative or something like that, but this?  Like, do they really think god is just hanging around making sure used car salesmen meet their monthly quota's?  REALLY?????

I'm nearly at a loss for words.

[Minimalist]

Always remember the inherent stupidity of theists and you will never be surprised by any shit they pull.

[Longhorn]

'Please lord, ignore people dying and help this privileged asshole sell six cars, since that looks to be your thing anyway lol AMEN'

[Pyrrho]

[IATIA]

... do they really think god is just hanging around making sure used car salesmen meet their monthly quota's?

Why not? Their god finds wallets!

[Minimalist]

[VeggieDog]

I'm that guy's boss at the dealership and I'm praying he doesn't sell ANY of those cars because I want to fire that loser!

[KevinM1]

There's an entire evangelical wing called 'Prosperity Gospel'. It's led by people like Joel Osteen. The entire schtick is that you don't have to wait until the afterlife to get your just rewards. God wants you to succeed, and if you believe and pray really, really hard, you will. And if he doesn't help you, that means you're doing it wrong, but a $9.99 prayer scarf, a $19.99 DVD, and pay-by-the-minute calls to a prayer help line will set you on the right path.

It's sickening, but I can't help but applaud the sheer audacity behind it. And I've actually watched some of their paid advertising sermons as a way to better know my enemy. It's always the same:

A generic sermon about how all things are possible through Jesus, with paint-by-numbers "when I was down (in a vague, not convincing way), he lifted me back up" claims and a ton of repetition designed to get the crowd in a lather.

A taped segment, where the pastor in question talks to a member of their flock, who overcame some sort of mundane struggle through Jesus. And I mean mundane, like "I was out of a job, but then got an interview." Gee, you think maybe having a decent resume and doing some legwork helped? Idiots.

The final section, where some smarmy narrator tries to hawk the pastor's crap. Usually without naming the price, which means it's likely embarrassingly expensive for what it is.

It's a twist in Christianity aimed for the ADD, instant gratification crowd. God's awesome because he helped me find my car keys, let me slither out of a speeding ticket, put an extra donut in the box at work, etc. As illogical as faith is, this kind of thing is purely, painfully idiotic. And it's becoming very popular because idiots like to think they're special.

[Cyberman]

"Labor is the only prayer that Nature answers: It is the only prayer that deserves an answer—good, honest, noble work."

"The hands that help are better far than lips that pray."
-- Colonel Robert Ingersoll

[Ravenshire]

Here's the worst part...

If the guy fails to sell the cars:
His boss fires him and it was all part of gawds plan. Gawd is good.
His boss demotes him and it was all part of gawds plan. Gawd is good.
After getting fired he gets a better job and it was all part of gawds plan. Gawd is good.
After getting fired he get a job that's not as good but that he likes better and it was all part of gawds plan. Gawd is good.
He gets shit-canned and black-balled and can't find a job but it was still part of gawds plan and he must be in need of being humbled. Gawd is good.

No way gawd loses if the fucker fails to sell the cars.