Are Married Men "Husbands?" How About a New Term for a New Relationship?

[bennyboy]

late Old English (in the senses ‘male head of a household’ and ‘manager, steward’), from Old Norse húsbóndi ‘master of a house,’ from hús ‘house’ + bóndi ‘occupier and tiller of the soil.’ The original sense of the verb was ‘till, cultivate.’

Per Google.

What specifically makes it male? Is the "-i" in "bondi" specifically masculine?

[bennyboy]

A friend of mine who is male, gay, and married refers to his husband. I don't see the issue, but you may have a point.

They are not married. Marriage is between one man and a woman. Their piece of paper can say what it likes, it is not a marriage.

I checked the etymology.  "Marriage" comes through meanings for "lover" and ultimately for "man."  So I think as long as at least one man is involved, any union could be considered a marriage.

[Regina]

I think the issue would be different in gay relationships, because there isn't the gender power dynamics there. "Husband" to me wouldn't have the same connotations of me being owned that a woman like the OP might have.

I guess "spouse" or "partner" are decent alternatives, but I could see those making people assume you were a lesbian as they are gender neutral.

[bennyboy]

Yeah, to me love is kind of like a mutual co-ownership anyway. My wife belongs to me-- but also vice versa.

[Whateverist]

Not sure if this is the right forum for this. But...


I am a woman and (gee, Rhonda, we never would have guess. Thanks for the heads up) I don't like the word "husband. I can't help wondering if it has an etymological connection to the word "husbandry."

Think about it. Until relatively recently, women were considered the property of their husbands. A woman without a husband was like a cow without a cowboy. From its inception marriage has been about men doing the tasks of husbandry—caring for and managing their wives.
e are in a new era now. Isn't it kind of retro to enter this new epoch with a term that speaks of inequality in the relationship?

When I want to know what my chattel think ..

[Whateverist]

Isn't it kind of retro to enter this new epoch with a term that speaks of inequality in the relationship?

You can't fucking be serious.

There is a new epoch?  Shit, no one tells ma anything.

[Fidel_Castronaut]

I don't know about husbands, but I know one thing, they're:

[Whateverist]

I could be your cabana boy.

[Brakeman]

"Husband" has a strong meaning of manager, or boss and it has for centuries. I suggest introductions as "my ex-bachelor."

[Aristocatt]

Singular - spouse.
Plural - spice.

If we changed the plural of spouse from spouses to spice I would totally give polyamory a shot.  Just so I can give all my spice different nicknames based on their personalty.  Cayenne is the blunt one that doesn't give a fuck about your feelings.  Salt is the one always upset about something no matter how insignificant.  Bay leaf is the one that still plays pokemon for the nostalgia.  Cumin. . .I don't think I need to explain this one.

More relevant to the OP:
I could get behind people using spouse or significant other, or some other variation instead of husband.