Where is everybody when it comes to 1 Corinthians 7:3-5?

[IanHulett]

So, I was watching CultOfDusty, so, naturally my humor is harsh at the moment, plus it's past my pill time, I was watching the video titled "Why would any woman be a christian?" and I realized, I might be one of few, or perhaps the only one(?) who discusses 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

(3) The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (4) The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. (5) Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

It's like I dreamt up the verse in a fake bible and posted an imaginary verse online. I mean it shows that the bible is also sexist against men too. This bible verse is basically saying a woman owes a man intimacy, and a man owes his woman intimacy, and neither can say no. It's offensive. It's like it's saying the following:

Man / Woman / Result
1 yes + 1 no = yes;
1 no + 1 yes = yes;
1 yes + 1 yes = yes;
1 no + 1 no = no;

The only time it's okay to say no is if both say no. Otherwise, even if you don't want it, you have to consent. Reminds me of a 4-letter word that starts with an 'r...' hmm... what is it... ... ...

Sarcasm aside, is there a reason this verse isn't discussed as much as the other verses?

I think this verse is just as important as the others. It's another one that needs to be talked about. But I don't see it as often as the others.

[popsthebuilder]

The verse speaks of the unity of marriage. Once married you are one. Are you undecided at times as an individual? Yes, and it isn't a good thing. It simply says that in marriage it is give and take, and for the sake of the marriage you shouldn't keep your partner from having sex with you unless you have a good reason, and doing so will lead your partner to look elsewhere.

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It isn't used often in reference e because it can easily be misinterpreted.

[Metis]

Actually this verse does come up with Catholics and Orthodox; it's actually a sin to decline sex with your spouse without good reason. Not being in the mood is not a good reason unless something big like a death happened and it needs to be confessed to a priest.

I've never actually heard it in Protestant circles outside of Fundamentalism so I couldn't say what they think about it. I think one of the reasons you won't hear it discussed so often because it is a rather in house matter, and one where if it is a problem the party being refused isn't going to talk about it publicly out of shame (how many guys are going to confess to being in a permanent dry spell?)

[IanHulett]

The verse speaks of the unity of marriage. Once married you are one. Are you undecided at times as an individual? Yes, and it isn't a good thing. It simply says that in marriage it is give and take, and for the sake of the marriage you shouldn't keep your partner from having sex with you unless you have a good reason, and doing so will lead your partner to look elsewhere.

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It isn't used often in reference e because it can easily be misinterpreted.

The problem though is that it says (4) The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

That to me sounds like I have no right to say no in a marriage, that if I'm not up to it, and my spouse asks for it, he/she wants it, therefore, it's a yes, even if I don't want it. It's clear. The wife DOES NOT have authority over HER OWN BODY, but yields it to the husband, and vice versa. How am I misunderstanding?

[Metis]

The problem though is that it says (4) The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

That to me sounds like I have no right to say no in a marriage, that if I'm not up to it, and my spouse asks for it, he/she wants it, therefore, it's a yes, even if I don't want it. It's clear. The wife DOES NOT have authority over HER OWN BODY, but yields it to the husband, and vice versa. How am I misunderstanding?

You're not misunderstanding, that is correct. There is no concept of marital rape in conservative christian theology.

[Minimalist]

The problem though is that it says (4) The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

Translation=  "Come on, honey.  'God' says you have to fuck me."

[Randy Carson]

The verse speaks of the unity of marriage. Once married you are one. Are you undecided at times as an individual? Yes, and it isn't a good thing. It simply says that in marriage it is give and take, and for the sake of the marriage you shouldn't keep your partner from having sex with you unless you have a good reason, and doing so will lead your partner to look elsewhere.

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It isn't used often in reference e because it can easily be misinterpreted.

The problem though is that it says (4) The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

That to me sounds like I have no right to say no in a marriage, that if I'm not up to it, and my spouse asks for it, he/she wants it, therefore, it's a yes, even if I don't want it. It's clear. The wife DOES NOT have authority over HER OWN BODY, but yields it to the husband, and vice versa. How am I misunderstanding?

This is part of the Christian understanding that man and woman become ONE flesh in marriage. Paul also speaks eloquently about loving your wife as you love your own body, etc.

As someone who has been sacramentally married for more than 25 years, let me say that there are times when either the husband or the spouse may want to say no, and the other needs to respect that. There are also times when one spouse wants to have sex and the other doesn't but goes ahead for the benefit of the one who is desirous. (I don't always want to go to the grocery store or take out the trash, either, but I do it anyway. Married life is like that.)

Early in our marriage (like first year) we implemented two bedtime rules:

1. Sleeper's rights. The person NOT reading and being kept awake by the other's reading light has the right to say, "Sleeper's rights!" and the reader must turn off the light within five minutes.

2. The 72-hour rule. We try to never go more than 72 hours without sex except by mutual consent as Paul suggested.

One other point: It isn't necessary to cook up a three-course meal when a quick snack is all that is necessary. If one spouse wants a quickie, let her have it. Or vice-versa.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

All I know is that, in MY marriage, I get sex whenever I demand it as long as my wife agrees.  So there.

Then again, I might try Min's 'Come on honey, God says you have to fuck me.'  I might even get laid once she stops laughing.

Boru

[popsthebuilder]

Thinking too far into it. You are to conduct yourselves as one entity with a common goal. Happiness.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Thinking too far into it. You are to conduct yourselves as one entity with a common goal. Happiness.

Nailed it, then.  But my goal of making her happy has bugger all to do with any 'holy book'.   I strive to make her happy because it is an honour and a privilege to be allowed to try.

Boru