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Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
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'Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.' - Ron Swanson
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Ladies: If you find strange hair on his clothes, he's cheating on you. If you don't find strange hair on his clothes, he's cheating on you with a bald chick.
-Brought to you by Beccs Insecure Female Fellowship.
Dying to live, living to die.
Man texts his girlfriend and doesn't get a reply within 60 seconds: 'She must be sleeping.'
Woman texts her boyfriend and doesn't get a reply within 60 seconds: 'He's cheating on me.' 'He hates me.' 'He's crashed his car.' 'He's been arrested.' Brought to you by Bitches Be Crazy, LTD. Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
 (March 28, 2019 at 1:53 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Man texts his girlfriend and doesn't get a reply within 60 seconds: 'She must be sleeping.'I was five minutes late for a previous girl friend and she was balling her eyes out because she thought I had died. This was before mobile phones.(shut up) Same girl told me I didn't love her anymore because I wanted to see the boys after seeing only her for a couple of months. She was soon to be the Ex after that. You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid. Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis. RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 28, 2019 at 2:08 pm
(This post was last modified: March 28, 2019 at 2:09 pm by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
I had a first and only date with a girl who followed me to the restroom to make sure I didn't chat up any other women along the way. Not even sure how I'd do that. 'Hello, luv. I'm going for a piss, but would you like to go out for a drink when I'm done?'
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
(March 28, 2019 at 2:08 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I had a first and only date with a girl who followed me to the restroom to make sure I didn't chat up any other women along the way. Not even sure how I'd do that. 'Hello, luv. I'm going for a piss, but would you like to go out for a drink when I'm done?' "Hi, I'm going to the bathroom but my hands don't work. Can you help me?" Not falling for THAT a fourth time!
Dying to live, living to die.
 (March 28, 2019 at 2:08 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I had a first and only date with a girl who followed me to the restroom to make sure I didn't chat up any other women along the way. Not even sure how I'd do that. 'Hello, luv. I'm going for a piss, but would you like to go out for a drink when I'm done?' Try it... If it works, I ' ll nominate you for "Cocksman .Of the Year".. (March 28, 2019 at 2:51 pm)onlinebiker Wrote:(March 28, 2019 at 2:08 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I had a first and only date with a girl who followed me to the restroom to make sure I didn't chat up any other women along the way. Not even sure how I'd do that. 'Hello, luv. I'm going for a piss, but would you like to go out for a drink when I'm done?' Thanks, but I already have that award. Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
(March 28, 2019 at 3:38 pm)onlinebiker Wrote:(March 28, 2019 at 3:00 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Thanks, but I already have that award.There' s always room on the mantle for one more award....... Oh, sure, I could make room on the 'I Love Me Shelf' for another, but I already have six. Any more would just be gauche. Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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