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Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

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Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#2121
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 28, 2019 at 10:03 am
'Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.  Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself.  He's a grown man.  Fishing's not that hard.'  - Ron Swanson

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#2122
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 28, 2019 at 1:01 pm
Ladies: If you find strange hair on his clothes, he's cheating on you. If you don't find strange hair on his clothes, he's cheating on you with a bald chick.

-Brought to you by Beccs Insecure Female Fellowship.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#2123
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 28, 2019 at 1:53 pm
Man texts his girlfriend and doesn't get a reply within 60 seconds:  'She must be sleeping.'

Woman texts her boyfriend and doesn't get a reply within 60 seconds:

'He's cheating on me.'

'He hates me.'

'He's crashed his car.'

'He's been arrested.'

Brought to you by Bitches Be Crazy, LTD.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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downbeatplumb Offline
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#2124
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 28, 2019 at 1:57 pm
(March 28, 2019 at 1:53 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Man texts his girlfriend and doesn't get a reply within 60 seconds:  'She must be sleeping.'

Woman texts her boyfriend and doesn't get a reply within 60 seconds:

'He's cheating on me.'

'He hates me.'

'He's crashed his car.'

'He's been arrested.'

Brought to you by Bitches Be Crazy, LTD.

Boru
I was five minutes late for a previous girl friend and she was balling her eyes out because she thought I had died. This was before mobile phones.(shut up)

Same girl told me I didn't love her anymore because I wanted to see the boys after seeing only her for a couple of months.

She was soon to be the Ex after that.



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#2125
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 28, 2019 at 2:08 pm (This post was last modified: March 28, 2019 at 2:09 pm by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
I had a first and only date with a girl who followed me to the restroom to make sure I didn't chat up any other women along the way.  Not even sure how I'd do that. 'Hello, luv.  I'm going for a piss, but would you like to go out for a drink when I'm done?'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#2126
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 28, 2019 at 2:27 pm
(March 28, 2019 at 2:08 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I had a first and only date with a girl who followed me to the restroom to make sure I didn't chat up any other women along the way.  Not even sure how I'd do that. 'Hello, luv.  I'm going for a piss, but would you like to go out for a drink when I'm done?'

Boru

"Hi, I'm going to the bathroom but my hands don't work. Can you help me?"

Not falling for THAT a fourth time!

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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onlinebiker Offline
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#2127
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 28, 2019 at 2:51 pm
(March 28, 2019 at 2:08 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I had a first and only date with a girl who followed me to the restroom to make sure I didn't chat up any other women along the way.  Not even sure how I'd do that. 'Hello, luv.  I'm going for a piss, but would you like to go out for a drink when I'm done?'

Boru

Try it...

If it works, I ' ll nominate you for "Cocksman .Of the Year"..
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#2128
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 28, 2019 at 3:00 pm
(March 28, 2019 at 2:51 pm)onlinebiker Wrote:
(March 28, 2019 at 2:08 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I had a first and only date with a girl who followed me to the restroom to make sure I didn't chat up any other women along the way.  Not even sure how I'd do that. 'Hello, luv.  I'm going for a piss, but would you like to go out for a drink when I'm done?'

Boru

Try it...

If it works, I ' ll nominate you for "Cocksman .Of the Year"..

Thanks, but I already have that award.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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onlinebiker Offline
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#2129
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 28, 2019 at 3:38 pm
(March 28, 2019 at 3:00 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(March 28, 2019 at 2:51 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: Try it...

If it works, I ' ll nominate you for "Cocksman .Of the Year"..

Thanks, but I already have that award.

Boru
There' s always room on the mantle for one more award.......
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#2130
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 28, 2019 at 4:36 pm
(March 28, 2019 at 3:38 pm)onlinebiker Wrote:
(March 28, 2019 at 3:00 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Thanks, but I already have that award.

Boru
There' s always room on the mantle for one more award.......

Oh, sure, I could make room on the 'I Love Me Shelf' for another, but I already have six.  Any more would just be gauche.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

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