The Taboo of Number Two

[Catholic_Lady]

Let me describe my poop to you, as it is something I am very proud of.

I actually have very good poop. They normally come out in one healthy, large log. Kind of a milk chocolate color. I also have the incredible gift of being in and out of the bathroom in a matter of seconds. I don't understand everyone else's need to sit on the toilet and "wait" for the poop. When I feel the poop is coming, I sit on the toilet, and it comes out immediately. I guess not everyone can be so blessed.

Oh, and they ALWAYS float. It's like one large floating log in the toilet.

I have guitar magazines on the toilet tank, because I think a healthy shit should be enjoyed at leisure. I don't see the need to rush anything.

My shits vary depending on what I eat. Over the last five years, I've taken to eating less beef, more chicken, and much more fresh, uncooked vegetables. When I eat beef, my crap is pretty solid; but if I've had a Greek salad for dinner (hush, Vorlon, I know what you're thinkin'!) then my shit is looser.

Either way, I will take the extra time on the pot to ensure that my crap is fully liberated.

Never understood the appeal of sitting on a cold, hard, ceramic seat with a hole on it filled with water and poop....

I get in, push, and get out. I'd much rather sit on a soft clean couch.