Suicide

[Regina]

So they don't like my non-belief. I'm an embarrassment to them. That among other reasons. They won't exactly be mourning the lost potential because there is none.

Just about everyone is an embarrasmment to their parents.  Again, you define yourself based upon what you perceive as negative attributes.  If you truly want to work on your depression, you're going to have to work on that.

I agree

A massive part of overcoming so much shit I went through with depression was doing anything I could to come to terms with parts of me I don't like.

For me, this was about being gay. I was depressed about it and loathed myself as a teen. Still loathing myself, I happened to meet some gay people on a forum like this (wasn't specifically a gay forum, just happened to have a few gays), and quite quickly they became online friends who I could look up to and it gave me something I could aspire to be; the finished result, a gay person totally unapologetic about it and happy. It took a long time but that's how it happened for me. In 3 years I went from being so far in the closet I was on the other side of the planet Narnia is on, to being comfortable in my own skin and taking ownership of my sexuality.

I bring this up because I think it's relevant and I see a parallel with your experience of "non-belief". You're among friends here on this forum, it's a place you can meet like people who are just like you who can support you. Give it time you'll be so much more confident.

And if your family don't accept you, it won't be the end of the world once you're grown. Like I said before blood doesn't make you family. If you're old enough to support yourself now, let them go. They sound like people you'd be better off without anyway. You can only rely on yourself.