Am I still an atheist if I believe in a higher being?

[robvalue]

This all looks quite traumatic, but it seems you've arrived at atheism so congrats

Even strong atheism (belief there is no God) is not a statement of certainty that there can't possibly be a god. It doesn't preclude the possibility of anything; it's just a statement of your current active belief.

Of course, weak atheism is even more relaxed, it's simply the statement that you're undecided. You don't actively believe there is a god, but don't actively believe there isn't one either.

Personally I don't think less of anyone for being a deist, it's just putting a name to uncertainty. In all practical terms, it's the same as atheism. It's when people also put their favourite clothes on the "God" and start claiming to speak for it that I get worried.