Need to Vent - Thanks Religious Assholes

[robvalue]

Im sorry for the pain everyone has gone through at the hands of their parents.

I'm glad to hear you've started therapy Crumb, that is excellent! I hope it works for you

Forgiveness is tricky. I've been told to "forgive" my parents too. For me, straight forward forgiveness is when someone has wronged you, they acknowledge they have wronged you and then you forgive them. In my case, my parents have never admitted they have wronged me and continue to put the blame onto me whenever possible. They also continue to try to psychologically manipulate me. In other words, the abuse is continuing. So standard "forgiveness" doesn't seem to work. They have to at the very least stop hurting me first!

However, I can accept that deep down they probably do love me, they are just so fucked up and fuelled by ego that it comes out completely wrong. They are also entirely resistant to criticism, so they never learn anything. Even though I can't "forgive" them, because that makes no sense in the current situation, I instead just "let it go". They've harmed me, they don't care or acknowledge it and still do it, but hating them doesn't achieve anything. So I kind of "forgive" the actions by filing them away appropriately rather than driving myself mad thinking about them.

I hope that made some sense It's been part of my own therapy, working on my attitudes. The situations in my life are the same, it's just how I view them that has changed. And boy does it make a big difference!