I think the issue of birth order is rather variable as far as how parents react to it. And there is also the issue of how boys and girls are typically treated differently, so that is also part of the mix.
I was the youngest, and my mother had to protect me from my elder siblings when I was young. They viewed that as special treatment, but any parent who wants all of their children to survive to adulthood needs to prevent the older ones from killing the younger ones.
My mother tried very hard to be very fair to all of us. She slightly changed her mind over time about how it is best to raise children, and so that occasionally (though not commonly) made her treat us differently at a particular age. But changing one's mind about what age someone can do something is not the same as preferring one child to the other. My mother always said she loved us all equally, and the fact that everyone sometimes felt that others got preferential treatment seems to support the idea that she really was being pretty fair with us.
Looking back on it all, I do not think it is possible to demonstrate any bias from my mother, nor do I recall any of that from my father, as far as birth order is concerned.
I think a lot of the ideas that people have on this subject are due to their point of view, in that they saw what it was like to be in their own position, but did not see all of the details of what it was like to be in another position.
And, of course, there is the issue that many people treat boys and girls differently, regardless of birth order, and the fact that some people have preferences for one child or another that has nothing to do with birth order, but can affect how one might interpret what is going on. Some children are more obnoxious than others, and so, if one is not careful, one may convey the fact that one likes that child less, regardless of where that child was in the birth order. The child, though, might misinterpret that as having to do with birth order. And, of course, bad parents may prefer bad children who resemble them, so there can be a prejudice against the better ones. It can go either way, depending on the parents. But if your parents treated their children differently, it may have nothing whatever to do with birth order. It may have to do with differences in sex, differences in personality, differences in abilities, or other differences between you. Assuming that it must all be birth order is not a good assumption.
I was the youngest, and my mother had to protect me from my elder siblings when I was young. They viewed that as special treatment, but any parent who wants all of their children to survive to adulthood needs to prevent the older ones from killing the younger ones.
My mother tried very hard to be very fair to all of us. She slightly changed her mind over time about how it is best to raise children, and so that occasionally (though not commonly) made her treat us differently at a particular age. But changing one's mind about what age someone can do something is not the same as preferring one child to the other. My mother always said she loved us all equally, and the fact that everyone sometimes felt that others got preferential treatment seems to support the idea that she really was being pretty fair with us.
Looking back on it all, I do not think it is possible to demonstrate any bias from my mother, nor do I recall any of that from my father, as far as birth order is concerned.
I think a lot of the ideas that people have on this subject are due to their point of view, in that they saw what it was like to be in their own position, but did not see all of the details of what it was like to be in another position.
And, of course, there is the issue that many people treat boys and girls differently, regardless of birth order, and the fact that some people have preferences for one child or another that has nothing to do with birth order, but can affect how one might interpret what is going on. Some children are more obnoxious than others, and so, if one is not careful, one may convey the fact that one likes that child less, regardless of where that child was in the birth order. The child, though, might misinterpret that as having to do with birth order. And, of course, bad parents may prefer bad children who resemble them, so there can be a prejudice against the better ones. It can go either way, depending on the parents. But if your parents treated their children differently, it may have nothing whatever to do with birth order. It may have to do with differences in sex, differences in personality, differences in abilities, or other differences between you. Assuming that it must all be birth order is not a good assumption.
"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
