Why not Dodekatheism?

[Losty]

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Why not Dodekatheism? Why haven't you accepted dodekatheism as the one true faith with the many true gods?

Aether keeps the lights on for you.

Ananke gives you that OCD

Aphrodite has a lovely smile and she loves you. She encourages love and pleasure.

Apollo promotes music, arts, knowledge, healing, plague, prophecy, poetry, manly beauty, archery, and the sun.

Ares is a god of war. He will help you kick serious ass. All this in the buff.

Artemis this chick knows how to hunt, how to get young girls, give people the plague, and she controls the moon. She's pretty damn cool.

Athena will be your personal diplomat. Plus she has those pretty grey eyes.

Chaos well nothing would exist without that dude.

Chronos is your holy pocket watch.

Demeter well she'll keep your weed growin

Dionysus keeps your liquor cup full, feel free to label him your beer bitch, he won't mind really.

Erebus he's like the god of Halloween or some shit

Eros will tell you what to say to get laid.

Hades/Pluto is all about regrets, and who doesn't have those right?

Hephaestus he's got your crafts covered and is especially good at welding.

Hera will help you get a wife/husband and some babies.

Hermes is super helpful, he knows all about boundaries, travel, communication, trade, language, and writing.

Hestia well she's a young pretty virgin what more can I say.

Hypnos is the holy sandman.

Poseidon keeps your surf waves high.

Tartarus well that guy is scary as fuck but he's pretty cool still.

Zeus has that lightning thingy what's cooler than that?

These aren't even all.

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Do you need something? There's a god for that.

 Yes, but is there an App for that?

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/greek-go...22562?mt=8