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Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster
#1
Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Repent, in the name of meatballs and sauce, for I have been touched by His Noodly Appendage, and have come as an ambassador of the Tomato Sauce of Truth.

Woe to the blasphemer of this website, doomed to a life of salads and nay even the hope of Antipasto.

And yea, though I walk through the valley of salad, I fear not, for His seasonings and his Garlic Bread shall comfort me, I anointeth my head in Garlic Butter and await your replies.

Repent! And be starched.
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#2
Re: RE: Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster
(April 2, 2014 at 9:07 pm)Rampant.A.I. Wrote: Repent, in the name of meatballs and sauce, for I have been touched by His Noodly Appendage, and have come as an ambassador of the Tomato Sauce of Truth.

Woe to the blasphemer of this website, doomed to a life of salads and nay even the hope of Antipasto.

And yea, though I walk through the valley of salad, I fear not, for His seasonings and his Garlic Bread shall comfort me, I anointeth my head in Garlic Butter and await your replies.

Repent! And be starched.

I'm a believer brother.[Image: zu9uhase.jpg]
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#3
RE: Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster
I assure you that I have long invited the FSM into my stomach, and my life has been better for it. I am of the Parmesan Cheese sect of the FSM belief, to be specific. I believe in a higher noodle to meat ratio, and am open minded to having it with or without meatballs.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#4
Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster
(April 2, 2014 at 9:22 pm)Chad32 Wrote: I assure you that I have long invited the FSM into my stomach, and my life has been better for it.

You have not truly believed unless you have buttered your face with the Garlic of Truth, accepting the Truth without regard for breath or personal hygiene unto your mortal form, with His Garlic Salt and His Crushed Red Pepper.

How dare you speak his holy, Noodly name without first anointing thy eyemeatballs with the holy oil of Crushed Red Pepper, for you do not yet know the way of His Spaghetti.

(April 2, 2014 at 9:14 pm)KUSA Wrote:
(April 2, 2014 at 9:07 pm)Rampant.A.I. Wrote: Repent, in the name of meatballs and sauce, for I have been touched by His Noodly Appendage, and have come as an ambassador of the Tomato Sauce of Truth.

Woe to the blasphemer of this website, doomed to a life of salads and nay even the hope of Antipasto.

And yea, though I walk through the valley of salad, I fear not, for His seasonings and his Garlic Bread shall comfort me, I anointeth my head in Garlic Butter and await your replies.

Repent! And be starched.

I'm a believer brother.[Image: zu9uhase.jpg]

The signs of His Noodlilyness cannot be denied. Ignoreth thee thy trace of thy soldering iron, for this beith the truth of do not question his caramelizarion of this bread and accept it on faithisms. It is True, therefore, beyond any Atheistic vision of truth: His noodle is clearly evident from the intelligently designed lines of this noodle toast.
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#5
RE: Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Quote:On the first day, the Flying Spaghetti Monster separated the water from the heavens. On the second -- because He could not tread water for long and had grown tired of flying -- He created the land and complemented it with a beer volcano. Satisfied, the Flying Spaghetti Monster overindulged in beer from the beer volcano and woke up hungover. Between drunken nights and clumsy afternoons, the Flying Spaghetti Monster produced seas and land (for a second time, because he forgot that he created it the day before) along with Heaven and a midget, which he named Man. Man and an equally short woman lived happily in the Olive Garden of Eden for some time until the Flying Spaghetti Monster caused a global flood in a cooking accident.


Oddly, doesn't sound any sillier than the jesus freaks' version.
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#6
RE: Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster
I defy your false sphagetti god.

May Odin forgive you your non-belief.
Dying to live, living to die.
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#7
RE: Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Proof of your claims Pasta God!
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#8
RE: Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster
(April 2, 2014 at 9:29 pm)Rampant.A.I. Wrote:
(April 2, 2014 at 9:22 pm)Chad32 Wrote: I assure you that I have long invited the FSM into my stomach, and my life has been better for it.

You have not truly believed unless you have buttered your face with the Garlic of Truth, accepting the Truth without regard for breath or personal hygiene unto your mortal form, with His Garlic Salt and His Crushed Red Pepper.

How dare you speak his holy, Noodly name without first anointing thy eyemeatballs with the holy oil of Crushed Red Pepper, for you do not yet know the way of His Spaghetti.

Thank you for pointing out my transgressions, for though I have the will, I do not always see the way. I shall seek the Holy Hut of Pizza, confess my sins, and study the Sacred Pasta Menu for a more clear guidance. We all fall short of the glory of the FSM, and need correcting from time to time.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

Reply
#9
RE: Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
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#10
RE: Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster
[Image: May-the-Sauce-be-with-You-Mens-T-Shirt-Detail.jpg]
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