(October 30, 2015 at 7:16 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote: There was a doctor who every day at exactly 3 o’clock walked the 5 minutes from his office to the pub and ordered a hazelnut daiquiri. This he did faithfully every day four 4 years. The bartender could count on him to arrive at precisely 5 after 3 and order a hazelnut daiquiri. But one day to his horror the bartender discovered that he didn’t have any hazelnut. So he hickory, hoping against hope that the doctor would not know the difference. But as soon as the doctor took a sip he spewed it out in disgust.
Doctor: This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri?
Bartender: No, that’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.
Thanks B
Reminds me of an old favorite of mine:
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks, ''what's your name?''
The loan officer says, ''My name is Patricia Wack. May I help you?''
''I'd like to borrow some money."
The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?''
The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.''
''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?''
''Yeah, I'm his son.''
''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?''
The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?''
The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.''
''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.''
The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.''
The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!''
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
