I'd like to second previous posts: you're not committed lovers, you don't have a term for the relationship, and it's been very rocky. Maybe time to move on?
But from the perspective of someone who has studied the amazing differences and challenges of male/female communication styles, you were both acting exactly as expected. You didn't want to discuss an uncomfortable subject, and hoped that it would go away. Her distrust of your assertions was to be absolutely expected, and it exacerbated her female need to hear about every step and stumble on your path to sobriety. Women want this, men absolutely do not.
For some reason, she accused you of behavior that had been commonplace. You were "innocent" of that behavior. It may have been impossible to prove otherwise - you probably gave it your best effort.
You may have even thought that rejecting her congratulations would prove that you were right and elicit an apology. From her point of view, she was probably offering a type of apology for the previous fight by posting the congratulations on a discussion forum, which was more of a safe place for you than a face-to-face discussion. (Or, she could have just wanted the forum participants to see her "standing by her man" - how would I know?) So your rejection of her congratulations - yeah, that wasn't the best move.
The communication failed in this scenario. Both were right, both were wrong. I'm sure you can either find a way to patch things up, or break it off, in the best way possible.
But from the perspective of someone who has studied the amazing differences and challenges of male/female communication styles, you were both acting exactly as expected. You didn't want to discuss an uncomfortable subject, and hoped that it would go away. Her distrust of your assertions was to be absolutely expected, and it exacerbated her female need to hear about every step and stumble on your path to sobriety. Women want this, men absolutely do not.
For some reason, she accused you of behavior that had been commonplace. You were "innocent" of that behavior. It may have been impossible to prove otherwise - you probably gave it your best effort.
You may have even thought that rejecting her congratulations would prove that you were right and elicit an apology. From her point of view, she was probably offering a type of apology for the previous fight by posting the congratulations on a discussion forum, which was more of a safe place for you than a face-to-face discussion. (Or, she could have just wanted the forum participants to see her "standing by her man" - how would I know?) So your rejection of her congratulations - yeah, that wasn't the best move.
The communication failed in this scenario. Both were right, both were wrong. I'm sure you can either find a way to patch things up, or break it off, in the best way possible.
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
