Hey Thumpman.
I've had some personal experience with this. Quitting drinking/getting sober or even cutting down for someone else rarely works. That usually ends up creating a resentment. Who wants to be treated like a project, like they can be fixed? It used to make me think, great, what the hell will she want to change next, how I dress, what I eat, who my friends are, what I believe............? If you want to stop/cut down do it for yourself, not her.
So, now it comes to who is going to be the bigger person if you want this to work. Will it be you or her or (hopefully) both? Trust me, after having a long drinking/drugging/lying career it is hard for others to trust me with it comes to my addictive behavior. When I get called on it, it's not like the other person is being totally unreasonable. Kind of comes with the territory. My advice would be to not be so thin skinned. Accept that she had a valid (although incorrect) reason for doubting you and forgive her. If you want this to work, make the first move. Don't cave and be all passive. Just be honest and assertive with the apology, leave aggression on the outside. Tell her that you believe she was wrong also but you're willing to forget that. If it starts to get heated (some people just love to fight), stop and remove yourself from the situation. Try again at a later date.
I'd say the ball is in you court. Good luck on which ever decision you come to.
I've had some personal experience with this. Quitting drinking/getting sober or even cutting down for someone else rarely works. That usually ends up creating a resentment. Who wants to be treated like a project, like they can be fixed? It used to make me think, great, what the hell will she want to change next, how I dress, what I eat, who my friends are, what I believe............? If you want to stop/cut down do it for yourself, not her.
So, now it comes to who is going to be the bigger person if you want this to work. Will it be you or her or (hopefully) both? Trust me, after having a long drinking/drugging/lying career it is hard for others to trust me with it comes to my addictive behavior. When I get called on it, it's not like the other person is being totally unreasonable. Kind of comes with the territory. My advice would be to not be so thin skinned. Accept that she had a valid (although incorrect) reason for doubting you and forgive her. If you want this to work, make the first move. Don't cave and be all passive. Just be honest and assertive with the apology, leave aggression on the outside. Tell her that you believe she was wrong also but you're willing to forget that. If it starts to get heated (some people just love to fight), stop and remove yourself from the situation. Try again at a later date.
I'd say the ball is in you court. Good luck on which ever decision you come to.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental.
