What sucks due to my religion (for me).

[Homeless Nutter]

So I was invited by a girl I really like to go somewhere new years.  Only thing I know there is alcohol, music, dancing, etc, so not allowed going.

SO IT SUCKS THAT I CAN'T GO.

Yeah - it must suck to be treated like a child your entire life.

Secondly although earlier I did temporary marriage/relationship (mutal nikah) with this person, however I realized she is a fornicator through out her life, which Quran forbids any form of marriage to up until they repent and change their ways.

SO IT SUCKS THAT I CAN'T YOU KNOW NOW.

Sure - let someone else have sex with the woman you like - perhaps multiple people, possibly at once - because you live your life by an old book. Just keep reminding yourself, that you're going to be knee-deep in p*ssy forever, after you die. And hey - if you're lucky, perhaps one day you'll find a woman that your book will approve of. And if she turns out to be a total dullard, or physically unappealing to you - at least you'll be able to keep her covered up and silent most of the time...

If I could convince myself Islam is not true, I would. I would really. LOOK AT WHAT I'M MISSING OUT ON. But I know it to be true and can't go against my knowledge, and cover it up.

You don't "know" sh*t. If you really knew anything - your silly crush on some girl would be a non-issue. You just chose to believe in a fantasy and you're too invested in it, at this point, to even allow for the possibility of being wrong. And every time you give up something you want because of religion - that's just another "investment".

SHE HAS BLUE EYES. BLUE EYES. PRETTY. 

But at least I'm going to see her tomorrow.

Don't worry - one day you'll figure out how to be a hypocrite, just like most religious people are and then you'll be able to do whatever you want, all the while claiming adherence to the will of your book.