Near death experience of Howard Storm

[drfuzzy]

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Scooby, what religion are you?  

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 I'm proud to say that I'm a Christian, that believes in Jesus. I grew up and was baptized Catholic.

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 I've had a difficult life, and while planning my suicide, started researching what life was about, and found Jesus, which saved my life.  I actually planed to lay my neck across a train track to decapitate myself by train to commit suicide. The night before, I started researching online what it would be like to die, and found near death experiences of people that had attempted suicide and had NDEs and were sent back with a message to share. I made a promise to Jesus that I would spread my knowledge of what I learned for saving my life.

So let me see if I have this right:  1)  You were contemplating suicide, but started researching and found Jesus (even though being raised Catholic, one wouldn't think this would have been a lengthy search).  2)  Before you found Jesus, you were thinking of putting your neck on train tracks to commit suicide.  Jeebers.  Most people go for something more expedient, such as using the gun or rope or pills that are already in the house.  For example, I just had my 9mm stuck in my mouth.  I was wondering if you'd feel anything or hear anything or just be gone.  You were thinking of going to the train tracks at the right time, sticking your neck over a track, and waiting for the thump. Yikes. 3) And you didn't actually go anywhere, but got fascinated with NDE's instead.  
     --  And you're spreading the message of NDE's as a thank you to Jesus because you never went out to the train tracks?  But supposedly Jesus saved you before you learned about NDE's.  So why not just say so? Why all the outlandish NDE, OBE, alien crap?

I'm sorry that you were feeling suicidal, a lot of folks here know what that's like.  But you DO understand why that tale might raise some eyebrows, right?  Your sequence is weird.


I think it's a Poe, guys.  Either that or a weird theories troll.