taking the lord's name in vain

[TheRealJoeFish]

or for extra credit, go a bit further,such as:

playing a version of whack a mole where they pop up thru Jesus nail holes

Yeah but how do you use that idea when you stub your toe?         

Make it handheld and carry it with you at all times.

I say lots of god-related things intentionally and facetiously.  Some of my favorite exclamations are "Oh dear sweet god" and "oh jesus."  And "Oh, lord!" in an Australian accent like the guy on Futurama ("Hermes organized that forced-labor spa so efficiently, all of the work is now done by a single Australian man!")