RE: The difference between empathy and sympathy and why it's important
February 22, 2016 at 9:04 am
I watched the video and honestly, it's pretty much on point. Empathy is the ability to step into someone else's shoes and feel what they are telling you. And it's true. And there is a huge difference between that and sympathy.
As far as tough love goes, it doesn't always work and it's not always for everyone. It depends on the situation. I suffered major depression for years. 8 years in therapy did squat because the therapist wasn't able to connect with me on that empathic level and really understand what I was going through. In the end, when I came to the realization that some of my family members as well as my ex, were narcissists, I told my therapist. I also became involved with online support groups filled with parents who have been dealing with narcissism and their ex's as well. It was eye opening because so many of our ex's seem to go off the same script. People who have never had to deal with a narcissist have no idea and can't really empathize because of how horrible the experience really is.
After telling my therapist this, and informing her of what I had learned and the groups I was in, she did a complete 180 and became very judgmental. She was my therapist for the last five years of my therapy and in all that time, she never showed me any tools or anything that I could do to improve my life. It wasn't until three months after I made my discovery, told her what I was doing and the tools I was utilizing that she became extremely difficult to talk to. She didn't like the fact that I was getting actual help from outside sources and that help was working.
I haven't been to therapy in over a year and while things have been difficult, I haven't had the depression that loomed over me for over 10 years. I feel better because I've been applying things that only people who've dealt with people like my ex, know have worked.
When you have certain situations where tough love doesn't apply, empathy is needed. Sympathy does nothing.
As far as tough love goes, it doesn't always work and it's not always for everyone. It depends on the situation. I suffered major depression for years. 8 years in therapy did squat because the therapist wasn't able to connect with me on that empathic level and really understand what I was going through. In the end, when I came to the realization that some of my family members as well as my ex, were narcissists, I told my therapist. I also became involved with online support groups filled with parents who have been dealing with narcissism and their ex's as well. It was eye opening because so many of our ex's seem to go off the same script. People who have never had to deal with a narcissist have no idea and can't really empathize because of how horrible the experience really is.
After telling my therapist this, and informing her of what I had learned and the groups I was in, she did a complete 180 and became very judgmental. She was my therapist for the last five years of my therapy and in all that time, she never showed me any tools or anything that I could do to improve my life. It wasn't until three months after I made my discovery, told her what I was doing and the tools I was utilizing that she became extremely difficult to talk to. She didn't like the fact that I was getting actual help from outside sources and that help was working.
I haven't been to therapy in over a year and while things have been difficult, I haven't had the depression that loomed over me for over 10 years. I feel better because I've been applying things that only people who've dealt with people like my ex, know have worked.
When you have certain situations where tough love doesn't apply, empathy is needed. Sympathy does nothing.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.
