I just don't get it

[emjay]

Thank you for sharing your story emjay

It must have been horrible to go through that, and I'm so pleased and impressed that you fought your way out of it.

I don't feel there's any reason to be ashamed. Christianity is designed to stop you asking questions and just obey. All that matters is that you spotted it for what it was and got out, before wasting your whole life on it. I'm sure your story will be an inspiration to others in similar positions.

Thanks rob   It wasn't really a case of fighting my way out - in the sense that I never had that intention and it just kind of happened spontaneously - but it was a battle in the sense of a lot of emotional turmoil at the time. But ultimately it was a formative experience that I wouldn't change for the world. I can wish that my parents had been more open-minded (or even just a little ) or that I'd had an easier time coming out, or waited or whatever, but if that had been the case I think I would have missed out on a lot of insight that has come in the years since, and would be a completely different person now. 

I was, and still am, very trusting/gullible, and tend to believe anything that anyone tells me with a straight face, especially if they're friends or people I look up to. So I think that was the main reason I believed... because my family was (and still is) very active in the church and not just on Sunday so I was always surrounded by family and family friends with very strong faith... and is also the reason I'm an easy mark for pranks to this day and have been conned a few times. I was basically a sucker for personal testimony of any kind and as a Christian that was the most compelling type of 'evidence' for me. Now, as an atheist I'm still surrounded by the same straight faces, telling me the same things, but the difference now is that I understand the psychology behind delusion and all the other tricks of the mind that religion can play. My gut reaction to their personal testimony is still the same... it's just as compelling as ever on a personal level and I believe they are sincere... but now I realise it's only the truth as they perceive it... as is everybody's truth. So I can enjoy the story and admire their passion etc but ultimately know that the mind is more than capable of creating every effect they describe without the need for any god.