Possible and impossible

[Old Baby]

Growing up in Pentecostalism, I believed that being baptized in the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking in tongues was not only legit but important. My problem was always that I didn't want to look like a fool doing what those other spirit-filled fools were doing, e.g. running the aisles, crawling/crying, dancing/screaming. I was told that this was my pride and that I would have to give this to God, so I tried. I REALLY tried to speak in tongues and actually worked myself into an emotional state, but no tongues. I was really depressed over this and talked to the pastor who said that I just needed to open my mouth and start making noise and have faith that this was God. Then, I was told I needed to practice it every day and my language would get better. I continued in the faith for another 10-15 years, but I never tried to speak in tongues again. I was certain that this was nothing more than well-meaning self deception.